Crosswords and Cupcakes

I'm Never Gonna Eat These Raisins!!!!!!

2010-04-17T15:46:00.001-04:00

by rogray

Bought raisins two months ago. Still haven't eaten 'em! I'm never gonna eat these raisins!!!!!

WHHHHAAAAT???

2009-12-15T21:24:00.002-05:00

by rogray

Whhhhhaaaatttt? We're still here??? Yes!!!!!! I wanted to explain to you why shaygo hasn't been posting. It's because she's been reeeeeally busy doing this:

Hard, right?!!!

who wears short shorts

2009-05-21T09:50:00.003-04:00

this is an oldie but a goodie, which may be happening a lot more around here.

two years ago. . .that's right. . .two years ago, rogray & i were in san francisco visting momgo & dadgo. rogray decided he wanted to go for a run. probably the first run he had taken in months and he probably ran something like 5 miles. typical.

here is what happened when he realized he needed a pair of shorts for his run:

all shook up

2009-05-20T10:44:00.009-04:00

i interrupt rogray's posting streak with one of my own.

last weekend rogray & i drove down to baltimore to meet my new nephew, richie aka lionel richie rich, and tend to our very broken 95 year old grandma. she's ok -- but with 6 broken ribs she's got some recovery to do.

anyway -- when we weren't convincing grandma she was not, in fact, being turned into a morphine addicted drug mule, we were hanging out with the newest addition to the go family.

let's take a look:

lastly, rogray bonded with lionel richie rich in a very special way. so much so that LRR let rogray use him as a modeling prop. amazingness ensued not once, but twice:

side note -- sometimes LRR bears a striking resemblance to elvis:

Cat Does Hilarous Impression of a Guy!!

2009-05-11T18:21:00.004-04:00

by rogray

So you've probably seen this video of this guy jumping into this box over and over again, right?

Well check it out. This cat decided to do this HILARIOUS imitation of that guy! This cat reproduces it move for move! This cat is a genius!!! Check it out!!!!

Cat In A Box @ Yahoo! Video

I like how the cat calls himself Maru, because the guy's video is called "I'm not Maru". How does this cat think of this stuff????!!!???

UPDATE: Someone just told me they thought the cat's video actually came FIRST!! To me, this seems impossible! How could the cat have PREDICTED what the guy was going to do! I mean, I know cats are psychic but they're not THAT psychic!!!!!

Wild Monkey Wreaks HAVOC!!!!! Zoo-goers FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!! Dangerous Monkey has intelligence of a human!!!

2009-05-10T23:00:00.003-04:00

by rogray

Is this monkey WANDERING YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD right now!!!!!! Is your life IN DANGER?!!!! Watch the video to find out!!!!!!!!!!

Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream

2009-04-04T18:55:00.005-04:00

dadgo and momgo have been in town for the past few days and sadly dadgo has been super sick. we came home from ikea and i took a little video of him in response to my brother's most recent post:

Backstreet's Back Alright!

2009-03-31T09:24:00.002-04:00

what is the what blogosphere? what is the 411? have you missed me? i've missed you. . .what have we been doing all this time? why would i be so absent from this blog for soooooo long.what could be so important? well -- i'll tell you.

well, rogray made guacamoleeeeeeeee! from scratch! here's a step by step photographic journey.

he gathers his materials:

then, he goes to the cutting board:

he then deals with the avocado:

then he mushes the avocade, dices onion, tomato, cilantro, and with a squeeze of lemon he mixes it all together:

and voila! fresh, homemade guacamole. delicious.

oh, also. . .WE GOT MARRIED!

these next two are by our friend, the photog.

that's right. . .more to follow but holy cow we did it and it was the best.

and we're off

2009-03-10T00:24:00.003-04:00

people. . .it is on. rogray and i leave in 5 1/2 hours to drive 14 hours to atlanta. to get married.

i will see most of you in atlanta. in a pink dress. with a veil. and a new ring. and a husband.

whaaaaaat?

see you on the other side internets.

joy to the world

2009-02-27T09:17:00.003-05:00

my new nephew is here!

ladies & gents, for the second time on a blog, allow me to introduce the newest member of our family, richie g.

look at all that hair!!!

new mama and baby are doing well. you can see more pictures on my brother's blog but i warn you. . .there is placenta.

we are going to meet the little guy after the wedding. which is in two weeks.

life is happening people. it's happening.

lovin' you is easy 'cause you're boo-tee-full

2009-02-14T22:08:00.003-05:00

happy valentine's day internets.

at this exact time in 30 days rogray and i will be all sorts of married and if we're lucky we'll have a love like dadgo & momgo. lasting, a little cuckoo, and full of respect and stuff.

apparently we already have something in common with them:

Jason is the hangman's name

2009-02-13T22:34:00.000-05:00

happy friday the 13.

bwa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa.

Count down to a night gown

2009-02-08T23:08:00.001-05:00

40 days and 40 nights

2009-02-02T23:26:00.002-05:00

that's how long we have until these suckers leap out of their boxes and onto our ring fingers:

and that's your preview.

sweet land of liberty

2009-01-23T12:23:00.002-05:00

ok -- i know this is 3 days late and stuff but we have a new president. in honor of his first week in office i would like to post something i wrote in 2004 before the bush was voted in for round 2 of his "tour of destruction."

i wrote and performed this for the Rapid Response Team which and it turns out that the first thing i ever emailed rogray was the piece so i could find out if he thought it was funny enough -- and by it i mean me.

so here it is:

My first was Bill Clinton. I was 17 when he came onto the scene and I knew he was going to be special right away. There was just . . . something about him. The way he played sax on Arsenio, answering “boxers or briefs” on MTV (boxers, of course). I mean, how could I not walk into that voting booth a year later and not pull that lever for him. For 8 years I was a satisfied woman and stood behind him. A lot of my friends were shocked that I could so easily forgive, or rather, overlook his affair with “she who shall not be named” --- but honestly, it simply meant I had a chance. The real depression hit towards the end of the affair when I realized nothing could be done; there would be no constitutional amendment allowing him to run for a third turn. I couldn’t believe it was over but I knew I had to move on.

I began a rather wrought affair with Al Gore. I wanted to love him the way I loved Bill but every relationship is different. Ours was an intellectual affair. He just seemed so. . .smart. I felt that with him in our top office I would grow simply by learning from him. So, I began to allow myself to fall in love with him . . . and just as I was about to let myself go – well, we all know what happened. And then 4 years of the most unsatisfying and deceitful relationship. I was losing hope, and fast. How was I coerced into accepting this current relationship? I know I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t even want it! I wanted Al.

I was getting desperate for some good love and then, in 2003, it began to rain men again. I was in heaven. So many seemingly delicious options. (I had secretly hoped for a strong woman – I’ve never had the option to try a woman and thought it could be awesome but alas – maybe next time.) Howard Dean, a doctor!, burst onto the scene and I thought this could be the one. The one I have been waiting for all my life. His sleeves rolled up, just young enough to keep up with me, but old enough to be mature and really understand the meaning of commitment, galvanizing voters, and all that grassroots stuff. I was getting really hot for him, but then he FREEKED out!!! He was yelling at me and I didn’t know why and I really don’t like confrontation. I knew it was over right then and there so I began to look at my other suitors.

All my friends had their opinions on who would be the best match for me. When Clarke turned up on the cover of The Advocate I was definitely intrigued. And Lieberman? As a Jew I should have been running into his arms – but I’ve never really been with a Jew – mostly Catholics – lapsed or simply not practicing . . . which led me right to John Kerry. How could I have missed it? And when I saw both him and John Edwards at a rally sporting those Live Strong bracelets I was sold. And just thinking about both of them together – at the same time!! And don’t get me started on the Heinz boys – bonjour! I never knew barn jackets could be so dead sexy. But I am not quite convinced that this relationship is going to make it. I desperately want it to – but one second he’s right up there in front of that cheater, then neck and neck, and then lagging behind. I just don’t know if he has the stamina. But I’m with him. For now.

Because I have someone waiting in the wings and I think he might be the love of my life. He’s smart, funny, young, down to earth, ambitious, and really hot. You all met him on July 26, 2004 at the Democratic National Convention. Barack Obama – I am waiting for you in heated anticipation. He was outstanding that day when he gave that keynote speech. So confident, so one with the people, so dashing. I was filled with a sensation that can only be termed true love. Your day will come, Barack Obama, and when it does I will be right there with you, hanging on your every word, watching your every move. This is a love that is an eternal love. Barack Obama – You will be mine!

alls i'm saying is president obama -- i have been with you from the start and it's nice to see you in the oval office. very, very nice.

mr. turkey

2009-01-07T16:36:00.005-05:00

p & g turned four in december.

i'm not quite sure how that happened. when i first started dating rogray they were in utero. then they were out of utero. and now they can talk and they have opinions. i think it weirds me out more than my godsons and my nephews because p & g's age reflects the length of time rogray and i have been together.

this is them at thanksgiving. i think we made them do this 8 times.

we partied like it was 2009

2009-01-05T22:11:00.003-05:00

internets.

i am sorry.

i apologize.

no internet should be subjected to looking at the same fish day in day out.

i have excuses. really good ones.

like, i'm getting married! that keeps a lady busy.

and, it was the holiday season! that makes a lady busy and drunk.

and also, rogray was finishing grad school! and getting straight a's. that makes a lady really busy because who do you think was doing all that cheerleading? ME!

ok, new year. new me. well, i'm not new. i'm the same. but i do plan on making some resolutions.

i think 2008 taught me some things. i think i have always possessed a healthy sense of cynicism and i credit that outlook to be protective but i have been shocked at how that cynicism has turned into a deep distrust and pessimism towards the world. i have some serious road rage that could use some work.

i am quick to anger and slow to forgive. and that includes how i treat myself. my inherent drift towards negativity is a powerful force that will probably be the most challenging thing to overcome. but i believe i must. i think all of my cynicism and pessimism stems from this and the internal struggle between my desire to believe in myself and that little voice that tells me i'm just no good.

so internets, my resolution? to love myself and the world more.

oh, and to be a better blogger.

hey good lookin'

2008-11-10T10:26:00.002-05:00

i made something new and i loved it! it's been so long since i had the time to actually cook something real and new and i decided to go all in and do up some salt baked cod. . .which is insanely easy -- you should all do it.

step 1: get a whole fish. have the dude gut, clean & scale it.

step 2: stuff said fish with whatever -- i went with parsley, rosemary, lemon & olives.

step 3: put that sucker on some parchment paper on a baking sheet.

step 4: mix up some salt & egg whites and make a salt paste (1 cup of salt to 1 egg white) and then cover your fishy with the mixture.

step 5: bake it until the salt is crusty, hard and brown (like 20 minutes, maybe 30 depending on the size of fish).

step 6: break off and peel away those salt pieces.

step 7: transfer baked fish to dish and eat that succulent sucker.

so easy, so simple. and it looks impressive. go forth and salt bake people!

and thank you to serious eats for their great dinner tonight series for giving me the recipe.

pictures of you

2008-11-05T15:01:00.002-05:00

well, really pictures of me and rogray because do you really get enough of those on this here blog?

go here and look at out engagement photos with our amazing wedding photographers Our Labor of Love.

jesse & whitney were so much fun and they somehow kept us from making our usual goofy camera faces -- which means they have some magic in them and their cameras.

i think these pictures might have gotten us even more excited for the big day because once we're all hitched and stuff we will get to see jesse & whitney's beautiful work again.

They're Coming to America

2008-11-05T10:22:00.002-05:00

Something very, very important happened last night and I was fortunate enough to be a part of it. My candidate, Barack Obama, won the presidency of the United States of America.

The past 8 years have been dark ones for me. I don’t think I realized how adjusted I had become to living in a fog of fear and despair about the political climate of our country until last night when every network & paper had called it for Obama and I couldn’t believe it because I was waiting for someone to say “Oops. We made a mistake. It’s actually McCain by 2 electoral votes.”

It took McCain’s concession speech for me to accept that it was happening. It was real. We did it.

And the crowds at McCain’s rally and Obama’s hometown said it all about how this race was fought and run. McCain’s mention of President-Elect Barack Obama was met with boos, people shouting “Nobama” and the like. Obama’s mention of his opponent was met with applause. McCain divided and failed. Obama united and triumphed. I think that gives me more hope than anything else.

Our new president’s acceptance speech was spectacular. It was humble, funny, intelligent and honest. (And there will be a new puppy in the White House!) Someone said that his speech would tell us how he would lead. Why suddenly this speech after all of the others he’s given I am not sure but if this speech is to be the standard then we are in for a hard, challenging, lofty and wonderful four years. We will have a president that uses words for meaning, impact and power. We will have a president who loves his family and uses that love to guide him through his life. We will have a president that believes in us more than we believe in ourselves.

I am proud this morning. Proud that we have our first black president. Proud that we had the kind of voter turn-out we should have for every election. Proud that people feel hopeful about what we can do in this country and in this world.

The panes of bullet-proof glass that flanked our new president last night and the passing of Proposition 8 in California show us how far we have to go in this country and I don’t think Barack would have it any other way. Because it is those obstacles that inspire us to stay involved and strive for something better.

This is the giant leap forward to something better.

you can vote however you like: redux

2008-11-04T09:56:00.002-05:00

rogray and i had a very eventful morning today. we left our apartment:

we got in the longest line i've ever seen at our polling location and waited for our turn to vote in our district:

i went in and saw this:

and then i did this:

and then i kicked it party line style:

we left:

happy as can be that we voted today!

good luck out there people. . .happy voting!

boo

2008-11-01T00:04:00.001-04:00

kugs carved a pumpkin. . .get your vote on.

You Can Vote However You Like

2008-10-29T22:34:00.002-04:00

first watch this (i dare you not to cry):

then watch this to smile:

and then go vote.

smoke gets in my eyes

2008-10-17T14:41:00.002-04:00

i'm having a mild "i watch too much t.v." heart attack right now. today it was announced that mad men may not be picked up for a third season depite the fact that it just won some major emmys inculding best dramz and it's the first basic cable show to do that. and despite the fact the show is awesome and a critical darling and stuff.

but then it was announced that it IS being renewed but maybe without the show's creator and writer matthew weiner. the show won't be the one i know and love if weiner isn't the head writer -- it'll start to suck. a lot. big suckage.

fingers crossed people. because true blood ain't gonna cut it people.

dirty south

2008-10-15T14:49:00.002-04:00

this past weekend rogray and i went down to the ATL to do a bunch of wedding stuff. we were really busy so i didn't get to take the kind of photos i generally like to. for instance -- we had 3 cupcake tastings. not a single picture of rogray stuffing his face was taken. all i have is this:

which was taken in a vintage furniture store where i thought it was appropriate to do this:

so you can see that i wasn't super focused. but here are a few choice moments caught on film.

1: after i lost miserably at progressive rummy momgo disowned me and then got berated for it:

see the shame? rogray beat us which is a first especially since the first time he played he was so slow and bad i thought my grandmother was going to hit him over the head with a skillet.

2: t-dawg brought my godsons over and they continued their love affair with rogray:

but i got some godson love:

3: oh i'm sorry. . .did you want to see his face? why let me show you!

he looks quite presidential in that last one no?

4: before the ATL engagement shower (no pictures! can you believe how i slacked off on my duties??) we went to the park with my nephews and my godsons -- the cuteness level was so high i thought i might explode:

5: we met up with our friends the politicians for some flying biscuit breakfast which isn't as good as it once was and then went to piedmont park afterwards where rogray tried to start a new trend:

the trend did not catch on.

6: we had an engagement photo shoot with our amazing photographers who are so awesome i might have to wrap them up and take them home with me -- there aren't any pictures yet but hopefully they got some of the wild turkey that almost attacked us.

7: we ended by going to dadgo's 8:30 a.m. contract law class to watch him teach -- i tried to get some photos on the sly -- favorite part? when he made a point by pretending to give the finger and said "SUCKAAAAAAHHHZ!"

and that kind of sums it up people...witty repartee to return at a later date.

don't stand so close to me

2008-10-08T14:08:00.001-04:00

if this doesn't bring a smile to your face i don't know what will.

via kottke.org

the heat is on

2008-10-07T23:12:00.003-04:00

my initial response to tonight's debate as sent to my momgo:

mccain looked like a troll (or as rob said "a monster that lives under a bridge), obama was hot. as was michelle. cindy looked awkward and confused as usual.

obama "won" but it was kind of useless as they both just reiterated what they've been saying for awhile now. so i really thought it was kind of boring. . .except when mccain referred to obama as "that one" (holy offensice -- he has a name you dick!) -- and i wish i was playing a drinking game where i had to drink every time j.m. said "my friends" but i would probably be puking by now if i had done that.

the revolution is just a t-shirt away

2008-10-03T10:58:00.002-04:00

thanks to jk this is what rogray is wearing today. . .to his economics class:

hello? can anybody hear me?

2008-10-02T12:29:00.002-04:00

blogosphere? hello? are you still there?

i haven't been around for quite some time. . .what can i say? i've been busy doing things like turning 30 and making a play and working and planning a wedding and dicovering acupuncture.

don't hate me blogosphere. i thought about you this whole time even though i never called or wrote.

i'm not going to come back with some epic tale of my summer -- too much pressure!

but i'll come back with this:

rogray and i have a friend who recently moved from one city to another to be with a man that she had only known for a few months. when she arrived he unveiled his rampant alcoholism and prespcription drug addiction. . .awesome!! so she quite him and is now settling in that city to be on her own for a bit.

rogray responded to this news thusly:

"do you remember that a similar thing happened to my scene partner in my acting class in 2005. he moved in with his girlfriend after a month because they were so in love and felt like they had known each other forever even though they met a month ago, and she proceeded to perpetually steal money from him and use it to buy drugs.

i'm glad you're not a drug addict."

ditto rogray. . .ditto.

It's your birthday: part a bajillion

2008-07-01T09:43:00.002-04:00

you didn't think that the only birthday surprise i planned for rogray was surprising him with a trip to chicago and then surprising him with his dad and stepmom and then surprising him with a trip to springfield did you?

oh no. . .30 is too big a deal to just let float by and i felt rogray deserved a surprise for each decade he's been alive.

so this past saturday rogray's sister and i got together to plan a wee brunch for rogray -- he knew that there was going to be brunch but he didn't know that his mom, stepdad, grandpa, grandpa's girlfriend (aw yeah) and his sister and her boyfriend from boston would all be there. surprise 2!

i really only took pictures of rogray's niece and nephew because they are so cute when chocolate cake is involved. this year they made the cake and did most of the decorating. look:

i think rogray's sister did the lettering but scooby-doo and the blanket of sprinkles are all p & g.

the whole morning while we were eating the delicious quiche that rogray's sister made that ended up being more like a cheese pie, p & g kept asking if it was time for cake.

when it finally was it was very hard to contain them:

he was so excited he had to be restrained! these two were uncontrollable:

after the addicts had their sweet, sweet chocolate hit:

p & g wanted to take some pictures. . .here is their work:

rogray:

me:

after all of the hub-bub at rogray's sister's we bid adieu to his family and went to go get rogray a suit because he's 30 and didn't have one and, well, it was time. you'll see pictures of rogray's suit when we get back from the wedding we are going to this weekend so i'll move on to the final surprise. . .what could it be?

he got to see lincoln, spend time with his family. . .what's left? oh! i know! his friends!!!!

i had told rogray on wednesday that i wanted to do a date night on saturday but really i had gotten 10 of his besties together for a surprise dinner. now for some reason this surprise is the one that made me the most nervous and anxious and it showed because rogray figured it out saturday afternoon because i got stressed about time!! arrrrrgh. . .

but he couldn't have guessed that everyone would be wearing bithday hats with the picture in the post below on the them:

pardon my photography -- a: it was dark and b: i got drunk immediately.

these two came down from connecticut for this shin-dig:

me and mr. mo:

he's sad because his wife is in vermont writing stuff -- we both miss her but i was too drunk to acknowledge my sorrow.

me and the lumberjack:

is every picture of me at my wedding going to be that face? i need to practice just smiling. . .seriously.

people got silly pretty quickly:

i was sitting across from the acupuncturist and spent the majority of the night trying to get a picture of her:

i took, like, 12. . .rogray spent some time at the other end of the table with the critic and the politician and their g-frys and was there when his gorgeous cake arrived:

that's india, the chef of paninoteca where we had the soiree -- she was amazing and so sweet and i can't say enough good things about her.

rogray took a second to think of a wish and admire the beautiful cake:

and BAM:

wish granted!

and that was it. . .we had some cake grabbed one last drink with the last guests and then went home and passed out.

it was amazing how willing everyone was to participate in all the surprises and that they were all able to keep everything a secret. i don't know how it happened but it did.

and now, rogray is officially 30. today is his first full day as a man in his 30s. how's it feel rogray?

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY YES IT'S TRUE YES IT'S TRUE

2008-06-30T11:53:00.002-04:00

today is rogray's actual birthday!!!

30 on the 30th!

champagne year!

golden year!

he's left the free-wheeling days of his youth and twenty-something years behind and entered into old-man hood.

now he will have problems with nose hair, ear hair, and possibly sciatica. . .

ladies and gents, may i present to you 30 year-old rogray:

oh boy do i love this old man. . .happy birthday babe!!

come on, feel the illinoise: part two

2008-06-30T11:15:00.004-04:00

ok, i know i said i would continue the post on thursday or whatever and now it's monday -- i've been busy as you are going to find out.

but let's wrap up rogray's illinois birthday post first. . .

where were we? ah, yes!

the chicago chophouse about to grant rogray his biggest, bestest birthday wish:

a trip to springfield!!!

yay!

springfield.

so, like, what's in springfield? i mean, is there anything in springfield? what could possibly be in springfield. . .maybe the one, the only, ABRAHAM LINCOLM MUSEUM & LIBRARY!!!!!!!

that's right -- we woke up the next day at 6 a.m. to drive 3 hours to springfield to spend the day with rogray's favorite president (his words, not mine).

so we got in the car and rogray was already reading up on what we can expect:

and i am really excited to be up that early in a car without a cup of coffee:

after a healthful mcdonald's breakfast we took one stop in the middle of nowhere:

for a bathroom break.

no really. . .it was the middle of nowhere. don't believe me? look closely:

there is nothing on that blue "attractions at this exit" sign.

we finally got there and the first thing we did was situate ourselves for the lincoln museum's 3-d HOLOGRAM production of ghosts of the library:

and then we weren't allowed to take pictures of the actual show because you wouldn't want anyone to steal the secret to the 3-d hologram technology.

rogray stopped for a quick chat with young abe about shakespeare:

and then we went into the wax museum awesomeness but not after reading the first placard:

which i believe compares lincoln to christ:

wow. "with the possible exception of jesus christ." possible.

the first part of the library takes you through honest abe's life as a young, poor, self-taught, romantically mercurial man who had uncontrollable children who used his smarts to get all the way to the white house which was part two.

but before you could get into the white house you had to pass by some people like john wilkes booth (boo! hiss!) and rogray tried to convince him not to do it!

i tried getting in on the convo with general lee and some other dude but they ignored me because i'm a lady:

rogray and frederick douglass compared hair styles:

while sojourner truth was too sad to give me a high-five:

we went through the white house years which were scary and hard because wow. . .lincoln really had it rough and it shows in his presidential portraits and we came out for one last picture with the lincoln clan -- family photo!!

see how rogray has his hand on abe's shoulder? that might be the happiest i've seen rogray in a long time.

after the museum we went over to the library:

where rogray discovered some pretty scandalous political secrets:

we can't tell you what it was though because we signed a document given to us by the department of homeland security after we were body slammed by 10 secret service dudes who took the book away and said that it was best if we forgot this ever happened. forgotten!

next rogray and abe had a last moment together:

before we went to. . .what? you thought that was all the lincoln stuff? are you crazy? we haven't even been to his home!

after lunch we headed over to lincoln's old neighborhood preserved as it was in the last year that he lived there (1860) before heading off to d.c.

we waited for the tour which featured chamberpots:

mary's toilet:

abe's shaving area:

and my hand on the actual bannister that lincoln himself used:

we loved the house so much we bought it!

after dinner and a lovely evening stroll through abe's old 'hood:

we headed back to out b&b (which i'm not even going into but really, i've never met a person so terrified of the homeless as the woman who ran this place and she needs to get over it) to pass out because rogray admitted that he was "all lincoln-ed out."

the next day we ate b-fast, headed back to chicago, bid adieu to rorgay's dad and stepmom and then waited for our delayed flight by drinking beer, eating nachos and playing boggle & set at the fox sprts bar next to our gate. once on the plane rogray settled in and ended the trip the way he began it:

asleep and dreaming of lincoln.

come on, feel the illinoise: part one

2008-06-25T15:32:00.005-04:00

it's birthday season here at crosswords and cupcakes headquarters. and, to be more precise, it's 30th birthday season. and rogray's is just around the corner on monday, june 30th.

it's his golden year!! which means this is slated to be one of the best year's of his life and it's shaping up to be:

1: we are working on our play.

2: he is going to grad school.

3: he gets to marry me.

see? best year evs!

since this is such a special year i decided to go all out for mr. rogray and planned a whole surprise weekend. last thursday i gave rogray an envelope and said "here's your first clue about what we are doing this weekend."

he opened it and saw a picture of an airplane. i had him double check what i had packed and told him we had to wake up at 5 so naturally we stayed up until 1am watching tv. genius!

the next morning on the way to the place that has the planes i gave him another envelope. he opened it and saw a picture of a skyline. but what skyline?

it was a tense car ride while rogray used the power of sleep to figure out what city has that skyline. when we got to the airport i finally let the cat out of the bag that we were going to. . .CHICAGO!!! yay!!!

rogray was a little confused. . .chicago? why chicago? and i was all "we never do things like this" and he was like "yeah, 'cause were poor" and i was all "yeah but we can do stuff like this" and he was all "yeah, 'cause we don't have kids and stuff." it was 5:30 in the morning so cut us some slack.

this is what rogray looked like for most of our flight:

but then i woke him up and he looked like this:

yup. still sleepy.

when we landed i gave him another envelope that were clues as to what we were doing. one was a picture of this:

and of steak. so he knew we were going to the Art Institute and having a steak dinner. but he didn't know everything. . .not even close. . .

we hopped on the el (hip, chicago lingo) and went to our swank hotel compliments of rogray's dad. i told rogray that his dad treated us to the hotel so he wouldn't get suspicious when we walked in and the lobby looked like this:

we settled in and took a quick nap and then i woke him up and told him it was time for a walk and some lunch. so we took a quick stroll and i was texting away and rogray seemed a bit confused as to why i was texting all of my friends on our special trip. as we walked through millenium park and i pointed to the cafe we were going to eat at he was looking around at all the sights which was good because he didn't see his next big surprise right away: his dad and stepmom!

yay surprise parents on our trip! we had a lovely lunch at the restaurant in millenium park and since they had already done the art institute we went by ourselves. but it was being attacked by lions! lions that needed to be stopped!

rogray was very impressed that i was fighting the lions:

the lions that had huge balls:

for some reason the balls came as a surprise to me -- i just never would have thought to put balls on a lion sculpture. props sculptor person!

we went in and had a great time seeing famous paintings and not so famous paintings and i felt like a real nerd when i laughed out loud at this piece:

i'm not really going to go into it but the curtain isn't real and the whole thing is silly. . .ah, the flemish painters.

we went down to the "exploratory" part of the museum and discovered that even with all that armor mid-evil knights could still give someone the finger adequately:

after the museum we took a real walk through millenium park which was awesome as you will now see:

can you spot us:

awwww, yeah:

after all that walking we were beat so we went back to the swank hotel lobby and had a cocktail and i planted another kiss on him:

and then we napped and got ready for dinner at the chicago chophouse where rogray got the t-bone that was as big as his head:

and proceeded to eat the entire thing. don't worry. . .he had room for dessert:

was that all?? oh no. . .that wasn't all. . .tomorrow i will post the real reason that we hauled rogray's behind to chicago.

you smell like one too

2008-06-07T23:40:00.002-04:00

today is jk's birthday!!! he's 30!!!

we couldn't celebrate with jk because he's in la at griffith park eating fried chicken, playing capture the flag and wearing a t-shirt with his face on it.

fortunately we were able to hang out with him when he was in nyc a few weeks ago and it involved some of this:

manlove!

a lotta this:

and even more of this:

ms. n and the rockstar joined in:

rogray butchered "your body is a wonderland" by john mayer on a dare:

and i butchered far too many songs to list here:

things started to get a little crazy:

and then the biggest surprise of the night came:

scott wolf from party of five apparently did a karaoke video for the song "the joker."

best karaoke video ev-er!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JK!!! YOU SMELL LIKE AN OLD MAN!

love, love, love

2008-06-06T15:41:00.003-04:00

rogray has been just amazing lately -- i mean he's always amazing but lately he's been like fly me over the moon amazing. what? you think i'm lying? you want some proof? fine.

example 1 -- we have a chalkboard next to the door so we can write reminders to ourselves and write down where we last parked the car. sometimes we get creative. let's see how creative rogray got:

i'm holding an "US Weekly" and he's holding an "U.S. History" -- and harper is there!!! gahr! so cute. . .

AND

example 2 -- i came home last week after a particularly rough day and i was very tired and feeeling pushed to every edge and when i opened the door i found rogray in the kitchen finishing dinner, the table set with candles, and this waiting for me:

flowers & wine!! on a tuesday!

boys -- if you want a lesson in how to do it right to your lady then this is lesson numero uno. . .also, this is how you end up getting engaged and doing something like this probably has something to do with making babies but i'm not sure how yet.

and if you want to steal our car that's where it's parked. . .

video killed the radio star

2008-06-06T15:35:00.003-04:00

the other night rogray and i got together with a few couples at the critic's house and ate some delicious pork, played some wii (my mii is adorable!) and drank far too much wine. . .which led to the first video i've ever posted to flickr which may mean this blog has just changed forever. . .behold:

and this man thinks he can hold off on getting a dog. . .

2 legit, 2 legit to quit

2008-05-20T08:48:00.002-04:00

hey! remember when i penned that love letter to bob schieffer letting him know how i felt about him retiring from his program?

well guess what?

IT WORKED!!!

cry me a river

2008-05-19T15:56:00.002-04:00

i am one of those weird people who, at almost 30, doesn't need glasses. some people get really up in arms about this because they are bitter that they have been wearing glasses since they were, like, 2.

every now and again i think about how cool it would beto have glasses -- another accessory! all of those snooty gestures i could use to better make my points in conversation! looking smarter! and older! i could use that last one because just this weekend a waitress thought i had just graduated from college -- at least i'm not getting carded anymore.

last month rogray and i were in atlanta visiting momgo & dadgo, celebrating passover, and planning the wedding. . .yay! we all had some time to kill so we popped into a cookware shop for funzies.

momgo immediately set about buying everything she could get her hands on and i looked at the knives. dadgo and rogray looked at other bits and pieces of cooking gadgets and discovered some onion glasses. rogray decided that we should get them because whenever i cut an onion i have to leave the kitchen at least 10 times because my eyes are gushing rivers.

at first i was all "another gadget that is creating a market where there wasn't one before" but that quickly turned into "a surprise present? i'll take it!! and glasses no less!"

last night we took them for a test run.

here i am ready to start the experiment:

aaaaaand action!:

well? well? WELLLLLLLL?

did it work? could i cut half an onion without turning into a blubbering mess? did these magic glasses somehow make me a mean chopping machine?

YESSSSSS! see? i do need glasses.

don't call it a comeback. . .

2008-05-11T23:03:00.002-04:00

i know this isn't much of a triumphant return to the blogosphere but. . .

is it weird that i kind of like jenna bush?

i mean. . .she's kind of cute right? i wouldn't want her to, like, run for prezzies but i'd totes hang with her at a bar.

(and that will be the only picture of he who shall not be named to appear on this blog.)

i'm feeeling like a fool

2008-04-02T09:31:00.002-04:00

yesterday rogray and i decided to play april fool's jokes on each other at 11:30 pm.

he went to park the car and called me to tell me he was in an accident.

i bought it and he had the joy of shouting "APRIL FOOL'S!" into my ear.

when he came home i had to think fast so i told him i was late getting my period.

he bought it and i had the joy of shouting "APRIL FOOL'S!" to his face.

we then realized that we chose to play the meanest april fool's jokes on one another.

but who was meaner?

rogray for making me think that our car and possibly he had been damaged or me for making him think that our lives were about to change forever?

i think i may have just answered my own question.

Goin' to the chapel. . .

2008-03-27T15:25:00.002-04:00

AND I'M GONNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's right. this man here:

asked this lady here:

to marry him.

and I said YES!

i'm one lucky, lucky lady.

Ten O'Clock Scholar

2008-03-20T11:04:00.002-04:00

ladies and gentleman, this is the face of a graduate student.

a graduate student who was accepted into both NYU & the New School.

a graduate student who will be getting a master's degree in political science.

meaning he will be a master of political science.

this is the face of success.

congratulations rogray!

You knock me off of my feet. . .

2008-03-18T15:12:00.002-04:00

here's to momgo & dadgo who've been knocking each other off their feet for 31 years!!!! happy anniversary you two.

i was fortunate enough to celebrate their anniversary with them this past weekend when they came for a visit. . .just look at them:

ah, love.

my reaction to their display was this:

yeah, because that's gross what they're doing. ew ew ew ew ew. . .

other than that disgusting pda their trip was great. we ate food. we went to see a play. we had shabbat dinner with some friends where my mom made brisket:

and rogray blessed the bread:

we celebrated a birthday with my long island family:

(now that's an expression of love i can get behind. . .what's all this making out?)

where rogray continued to usurp my position by becoming bff with dadgo:

and where rogray ate pork all classy like:

i'll post pics of our sunday "jew day" tomorrow. . .because i need to recuperate from that first picture.

All By Myself. . .

2008-03-12T15:09:00.003-04:00

so yesterday i'm on my way to our last intro to judaism class and i've worked out that the best way to get there is to take an express train to brooklyn which bypasses the stop i need and then transfer to a local train going back towards manhattan. that actually takes less time then taking the local out of manhattan. . .go figure. and yes, i spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out the quickest way to get places because i am the master of public transportation.

i made my transfer and stepped into the car on the local train and looked around and realized that i was the only person in the car. and i was amazed because that almost never happens and it certainly never happens at 6:30pm on a weekday. i looked around and was tickled to discover how excited i was by this moment of solitude -- because i think in this massive jumble of a city those moments where you get to be truly alone during your day are very, very rare. so i relished the moment.

as the doors to the train closed i took a deep breath, exhaled and. . .farted.

that's right. i did that. i just let. it. rip. and it felt good. i felt free, calm, truly at one with myself.

and wouldn't you know it, right after my glorious release the doors sprung back open and 8 people jumped in the car right behind me. and were greeted with eau de shaygo.

the moral of the story: you are never as alone as you think you are in new york city.

*picture from NYCDP

bitches & hos

2008-03-11T10:42:00.006-04:00

and in this case the bitch is spitzer.

i thought i should share with you momgo's response which is brilliant:

"Holy crapballs. I thought it was going to say he had an affair with a top aide but it was over blah blah blah. This is really awful. He should resign."

um, yeah. my mom said holy crapballs. does your mom say that? i don't think so.

and dadgo followed up with this:

"Spitzer is another man who has his brains in his pecker. Is screwing around with a professional worse than having your winky whacked by an intern? Because I do not recall our wanting Bill to resign over that indiscretion. Oy Veh!!! What a sad state of affairs!"

yeah. equally brilliant. "winky whacked by an intern" -- amazing.

i am really saddened by this because i naively expected more from my governor. i knew there was something kind of smarmy about him but he was a relentless attorney general and he fought the good fight. and even though that all still stands he is going to have a very hard time bouncing back from this one. . .and to be honest i am getting tired of having to forgive these idiots and i don't think i should have to settle into a place where i expect nothing from the people who i elect. so why does this anger me more than bill's penis debacle?

because spitzer PAID for it. he paid a woman a large sum of money and brought her across state lines to have sex with her. this wasn't just an affair. this was paying for sex with a prostitute -- something that spitzer railed against when he was the a.g. and if i find it hypocritical that someone like larry craig gets to solicit men in the bathroom while spouting homophobic rhetoric than i should find it equally hypocritical when someone participates in the very industry that they spent years trying to dismantle as an elected official.

and i will never understand these wives who go to the mea culpa press conference with their douche-bag husbands. if it were me i'd be all "oh, hell no! fuck you, you asshole and your little 'i failed my family press junket' -- you get to go it a. l. o. n. e."

and then i'd throw a plate at his head and then i'd make sure that he had to go to the press conference alone with shards of fine china all over his suit and in his hair so that the public would know that this is one wife who wasn't going to play nice and wear pearls. and i'd tell his p.r. people to get away from me -- so that they way they could all sweat a little bit over what i might do or say.

and then i would buy a first class ticket -- no i would buy first class tickets for me and my friends so we could all go somewhere ridiculous like nice, or cannes, or bali and drink a lot of beverages with alcohol and umbrellas in them and we would stay in the fanciest of hotels and have spa treatments all day every day and then i would come home looking fabulous.

and the press would be like "look at mrs. blah da blee blah -- she looks gorgeous. and she's so smart and funny. he's such an idiot."

only then would i decide what to say and how to say it.

silda, feel free to use my plan of attack as you get through this humiliating debacle. but if you do all i ask is for a seat on that plane. . .i've always wanted to go to bali.

Little Deuce Coupe: An Ode

2008-03-07T10:28:00.004-05:00

today is a bittersweet day for rogray and me. today is the day that we sold our car.

that was our 1991 mazda mx-6 GT (that stands for turbo yo) we bought in cali. it is the car that took us through our year there and it is the car that brought us across the country back home:

those last two pictures are what happens when you've been stuck in a car for 6 days straight and you're driving through texas.

this car has taken us camping:

and on day trips. to family and to friends. we didn't have a name for our car but we certainly loved it. so why did we sell it?

well, dadgo and momgo were kind enough to get us a newer used car to take us camping and to family and friends. and on sunday we go and get our new car that has been patiently waiting for us in a garage on long island. our old car is going to our good friend the photog and her husband so they can enjoy day trips and last minute get aways. so it is in swell hands and it will stay in the family.

it's been a great car -- one that got rogray and me through a very particular, interesting and crazy time in our life and we will miss it. so 1991 mazda mx-6 GT with the oscillating a/c vents we salute you and we love you.

thank you little car. thank you.

You never been on a ride like this befo'

2008-02-27T11:09:00.002-05:00

i will say this about pakistan: they sure know how to decorate. . .

via kottke

i get it

2008-02-26T09:58:00.002-05:00

i have yet to fully understand this whole sub-prime mortgage meltdown business. mostly because it involves things like numbers. and people in suits. doing things with numbers. while using acronyms and calculating numbers while they where their suits. with blackberries. and numbers. (should that be blackberrys? blackberry's? i kind of like pluralizing it the fruit way.)

and because the way you have to explain it is b.o.r.i.n.g.

until now!!

thanks to this handy dandy slide presentation you will understand it while simultaneously avoiding the boredom associated with dudes in suits talking about numbers and acronyms holding their blackberries and looking douchey!

via consumerist, my favorite pro-consumer site on the internets!

dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaam, dream dream dream dream

2008-02-20T12:22:00.003-05:00

you know your life is getting boring when the only two dreams you remember are the following:

1: getting sick

2: talking to rogray about the grocery list and going to the gym.

eat it, just eat it

2008-02-19T09:17:00.003-05:00

last night for the first time in ages we had shake n' bake for dinner because it is rogray's favorite.

in fact , he liked it so much that he ate 3 entire chicken legs (i'm talking thigh & leg people), 1/2 box of mac n' cheese, and 1/2 lb of green beans.

why he wasn't farting his life away is beyond me.

it makes me smile

2008-02-15T17:03:00.003-05:00

i've been killing time at work by looking at pictures of rogray's and my cross-country drive from a few summers ago and came across one of my favorite pictures of the two of us at the grand canyon:

i know the grand canyon isn't even in it. . .but the where isn't why i like it. it's the how.

i like how rogray looks normal and happy but i look like i am simply up to no good.

i have no idea what i was thinking but it must have been something sneaky.

PSYYYYYYYCH!!!!

2008-02-11T11:59:00.000-05:00

what are you?

crazy?

i didn't get no stinkin' tattoo!!! i'm the biggest wimp there is. . .but i had you going right? the whole thing was meant to be a practical joke on momgo & dadgo. . .because i know they would hate it if i got a tattoo.

in fact, they hate is so much that they were debating whether or not they could carry out the age old technique of disowning a child. i think they may have consulted a lawyer and everything.

seriously -- they were suuuuuper pissed -- so pissed that they couldn't even find the joke funny. hopefully in 10 years this will all be water under the bridge and then we can be like "remember that time shaygo said that she got a tattoo and did that insanley realistic post about it on her blog and dadgo had an aneurysm because of it and momgo had shaygo written out of the will? remember how HILARIOUS it was when it turned out that she was only joking and was doing a very early april fool's joke and the tattoo ended up being henna that she had done at a friend's baby shower? oh, man. . .that was a real roller coaster of hilarity!"

yeah, that's definitely going to happen. . .sorry momgo & dadgo. . .heh heh. . .is it funny now?

how 'bout now?

well let's get to the pics of the baby shower i went to so we can deflect some of the focus onto someone who's 8 months preggers and ready to explode, ok?

rogray's friend, homeslice, and his wife are expecting baby #2 and she was kind enough to invite me and the miracle worker to her baby shower. . .aka blessingway.

we had to bring some family artifact and explain why it was important to us:

next to the mortar and pestle you'll see a small, square black and white photo of a little girl with her mouth open like she's about to eat the camera. that's momgo when she was but a wee lass and it's my all time favorite picture of her. . .why? well, she's super cute in it, she looks like me (therefor i am super cuter) and it's the only picture i've ever seen of her as a child where she is actually being herself. . .it's amazing.

then we had to bring beads and string them together so she would have something to hold onto or look at while she squeezing the kid out:

i don't know from beads so i brought two antique buttons because what's more synonymous with motherhood then buttons? nothing, that's what. you always have to button, unbutton, zip, unzip -- i mean kids are reeeeally needy.

look at this lady -- she's ready to have a baby:

while she got her belly henna-ed her sister gave her feet a soak:

um, being preggers is awesome! it's like being at the spa am i right ladies?

look at the finished product:

amazing -- all free hand. . .so i got inspired and decided to get me some henna:

i really like it -- and would love to have a celebratory henna again. . .but a real tattoo? not really my thing. . .so no worries momgo & dadgo. . .i won't be getting any tattoos. . .but maybe i'll get pregnant just so i can have my friends come over and bathe my feet.

on my heart liks a tattoo

2008-02-11T10:35:00.000-05:00

i didn't plan on doing this. in fact, it was never something i was interested in at all. i understood why others might want to invest in such a thing and i would be lying if my mind didn't occasionally drift over the idea. but i don't even have my ears pierced so it seemed a bit out of the realm of possibility.

but when i found myself sitting in the chair with my left arm draped across the armrest and the buzz of the needle in my ears it felt like the exact right thing to do:

so i did it. i got a tatto! i went with a friend to accompany her while she got hers and just got inspired. the guy was so patient and great and he made me feel really at ease.

i know it's pretty girly -- i kind of let the artist do what he wanted -- we both agreed a light color would be better with my skin tone and i definitely wanted to keep it subtle.

i'm trying to be bad-ass here but it's practically a damn flower. . .

rogray was definitely shocked but i think it's growing on him. did it hurt? hellz to the yesh but i think it was worth it.

i mean, look how happy i am:

maybe i'll get me some sleeves. . .ok, probably not. . .but i always thought the nape of the neck was a good spot for a tat.

dance dance dance dance

2008-02-08T09:21:00.000-05:00

a few weeks ago ms. n sent out an invitation for a fete she and her boyfriend, the rockstar, were hosting. they wanted to do something nice and classy for their friends. i'm not classy but i am her friend so i went.

for some reason koogs and i got reeeeeeally into the whole classy aspect and decided to meet up early, get dressed and put on make-up together and basically act like we were going to prom. . .or the grammys. . .we couldn't really tell. all we knew was that we cared so much about it that we actually discussed what we should do for our make-up and hair. seriously. as if we knew much outside of the same thing we do every day with our hair and our faces. koogs tried cat-eye and i went smoky. . .

and, truth be told, i'm not sure it mattered what we looked like because ms. n's parties always end in a massive, sweaty dance party so in reality we probably should have just worn tank tops and put our hair in ponytails.

also, no matter what we did, ms. n out-classed us all:

yeah. . .that's a feather in her hair. . .i mean come on! CLASSY!!

rogray?

not quite as classy. . .but he sure did like that pizza.

the whole night ms. n kept whipping up these amazing cocktails. i'm not entirely sure i remember what they were or what was in them but do remember that just when i thought my glass was empty it was somehow magically refilled.

the c.e.o. put it best:

once koogs got a hold of the ipod the party looked like this:

and this:

(that's the back of my head and doesn't my hair look fabulous? see, it's worth it to discuss hair and make-up before hand.)

then it looked like this:

koogs got seriously into the song and looked like this:

and finally it looked like this:

what you don't see is a picture of me doing the humpety-hump with some dude while rogray sat on the couch eating cookies and drinking a martini. . .because apparently when i get on the dance floor i loose all sense of propriety and become a crazy person.

rogray and i had to leave on the early side because we had to wake up very early to go take a hebrew in a day class (you read that right) and let's just say that it was a rough, rough morning with lots of groaning and "whyyyyy? why did i do thaaaaat?" followed by some serious advil, tea, and seltzer. koogs and the c.e.o. left around 2am and said that you could hear the music about a block away. i can't remember the last time i went to a house party that was as classy and fun as that one. . .oh wait, ms.n's new year's eve party last year. . .

that ms. n sure knows how to treat her friends right.

you can wackle while i walk away

2008-02-05T15:19:00.000-05:00

this has got to be some kind of prank right? i mean, they can't possibly be serious, right?

are you ready for some footbaaaaaaaall?

2008-02-04T09:57:00.000-05:00

i have never been a fan of football. . .or sports in general. to be honest, i generally think it's a giant (get it?) waste of time. except going to baseball games -- baseball goes at the right speed for me and there are peanuts, hot dogs and beer involved. and i kind of understand it.

football -- that's just a bunch of giants running into each other hard. who f-ing cares?

over thanksgiving we were obliged to watch some college football games because rogray's stepdad is obsessed with the game:

there was one game that i did start to get into -- kansas? against. . .someone else?

it was exciting because kansas was the underdog and they fought really hard. i mean, they still lost but they tried and it was exciting to watch them try that hard. but i kind of only cared because rogray's stepdad cared and i was too stuffed and sleepy to motivate myself to go do something more productive like read a book or nap.

so imagine my surprise when i turned into a crazy football fan. we're talking jumping to my feet, screaming at the tv, covering my eyes and trash talking crazy.

the last 2 minutes of that game were insane!!!! when manning who, by the way, is engaged to his college girlfriend and lives in hoboken, kept fighting and pushing we knew that it would be exciting. when brady who, by the way left his pregnant baby mama for a supermodel and has an air of general douchiness around him, kept getting sacked i knew this game was turning awesome.

because the pats may have played an almost-perfect season but nothing is more gratifying than the underdog fighting hard and taking down the team that walks around the field like they deserve it -- like their opponent should just step aside and the rings should magically appear on their hands.

the giants had to prove that they deserved it. they had to stay calm, refuse to give up and do crazy things like clutch the ball to the top of their helmet so they could stay in posession and make the patriots eat all of their entitled, machismo bullshit. they were david taking goliath down.

i don't know if i will ever watch football again -- and i don't know if i will ever feel an allegiance to any one team -- but i know that last night, for one superbowl, i was a sports fan and it was awesome.

walkin' in a winter wonderland

2008-02-04T08:59:00.000-05:00

for the first time this year it is actually snowing in new york city right now. . .i don't think it will stick because it's too warm but since this past january was the first one in 75 years without snow it's nice to see the stuff.

To Sir With Love

2008-01-31T11:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Bob,

I am an avid viewer of your Sunday morning news program, Face the Nation. In fact, it is the only Sunday morning political show I enjoy watching. Your measured, unbiased reporting and interviewing skills are unrivaled amongst your colleagues.

My boyfriend is a politics junkie and, if he had his way, he would watch every news program and channel that existed including (but not limited to) CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, C-SPAN, Jim Lehrer, Chris Matthews and every program that has Tim Russert. I prefer Supernanny and Project Runway.

In choosing to retire from your program you are seriously jeopardizing the delicate balance of peace and televising equality in our home. My boyfriend could always count on me agreeing to watch your program without any groaning, eye-rolling or needing to promise me long back scratches which is what he is met with when he wants to watch pretty much anything else that isn't Ancient Discoveries, Jon & Kate plus Eight or SYTYCD/ANTM Cycle a billion.

In short, I find your choice selfish and thoughtless.

If you want to have unrest brought upon households across this fine country then please go ahead and retire. Play golf in the Bahamas and write your books. Play music with your friends and enjoy your children and grandchildren. If you need to be self-centered in that way then, by all means, go ahead. But if you care about this country the way you claim to then you should not retire but rather add a daily program to your schedule as well as your Sunday program. My relationship and therefor the world will fare better.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Viewer

PS -- Please don't take this the wrong way. You are a very nice man which is why I like your program so much. Do the right thing.

i do my little turn on the catwalk

2008-01-30T11:04:00.000-05:00

rogray and i have become increasingly obsessed with our awesome, evil cat, harper, lately. rogray especially.

for instance we were at dinner the other night and rogray siad "i wish harper was here. she would really enjoy this."

and he was right. . .she would have enjoyed it because it was sushi and she's a cat.

i've become obsessed with trying to capture the cute essence of our furry friend and this has resulted in many impromptu photo shoots -- so let's take a look at our fluffy diva:

vintage calvin klein style:

very french "i do not care what you think":

the extreme close-up:

action shot!:

romance story:

possible perfume ad for eau de purr:

cutest fur ball ever! the paws! the fur!:

now if only she were nice to people. . .because she isn't nice to people. . .in fact she's terrible to people. . .people never get to see this side of her because she is either growling, yelling, hissing or clawing at them or she's hiding deep in the recesses of rogray's closet -- which is actually the ideal place for her to be when there are strangers in the house. . .strangers that are our closest friends and family, many of which have been kind enough to take care of her -- you know. strangers.

so i put these pictures up as a testament to how calm and cute she can be so the next time she is trying to remove the flesh from your bone because you are simply trying to say hello you know that she's not evil -- she's just tired from her photo shoot.

only in my dreams

2008-01-17T15:53:00.000-05:00

last night as rogray and i cuddled and chatted before bed (adorable right? i mean. . .gross. we don't cuddle.) i began to drift off to sleep. . .i don't know what we were talking about, or rather, what rogray was talking about but at a pause in his conversation i asked him the following:

"does your dad use camera tape or regular tape?"

rogray promptly asked me to repeat what i asked and i believe half-way through repeating i woke up and and asked him what i had said. at which point i became thoroughly confused because what the hell kind of question is that?

rogray wanted to know what i had been thinking of but i had no idea because i think i was mainly sleeping at that point. . .i think this might rank up there with the time that rogray caught me singing in my sleep like an opera singer.

special.

gimme more

2008-01-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

it's so beautiful.

this is why i love apple.

i want one.

we wish you a merry chrismukkah: the even later edition

2008-01-14T15:25:00.000-05:00

ok. . .so jk didn't like my last post (see comments) but seeing as he's just been posting pictures of things he ate in paris i'm not sure what his le boeuf is -- get it le boeuf? because he was in paris? i've decided to continue talking about our holidays because a: i think i'm still recovering from them and b: they seemed to last forever.

you see, christmas started for rogray and myself at thanksgiving. why? because rogray's family is cuckoo for xmas so in the years where his mom gets the kids for thanksgiving and his dad gets the kids for christmas rogray's mom wants us to do christmas at thanksgiving so she doesn't miss out on any of the gift-giving fun. that means that every other year i get to go celebrate christmas twice -- which is a lot of christmas for this little jewish lady. . .but just fine for rogray -- i swaer the kid could listen to manheim steamroller for 2 months straight and still want more.

the only pictures i have of christmas at thanksgiving are from pedro & gracie opening all of their presents. . .and by all i mean all 50 of them. . .per child. it was intense to watch.

see that pile of presents behind pedro? present upon present teetering precariously atop one another? well those are gracie's presents. . .just gracie's. . .pedro's are in another spot in the room. and that pile was after gracie had already opened a few. at one point gracie and pedro were all done and ready to play but we told them they had to finish opening all of their presents and i swear i saw gracie vomit in her mouth when she looked at the tower she had to get through.

as usual with toddlers they only wanted to play with the first thing they opened anyway which made the whole thing more chaotic. so all gracie wanted to do was wear her dora the explorer princess dress:

and all pedro wanted to do was play candyland: the dora the explorer edition (sensing a theme here?):

i think my favorite moment was this series:

which led to this series:

i know this makes us a horrible people but for some reason we find it hilarious to take pictures of pedro when he's crying -- i mean not when he's crying about something truly tragic. . .then that's not funny -- but all the other times. . .it's funny.

anyway we ate some turkey, stuffing and the like, went to see american gangster and i'm sure took a nap or two -- and pedro and gracie got so many presents their heads almost exploded -- just a typical holiday. and i have a sneaking suspicion that gracie is still wearing her dora the explorer princess dress in spite of the six other princess dresses she got that day:

better jk?

oh christmas tree: the very late edition

2008-01-14T11:43:00.000-05:00

so i've been fairly MIA lately -- i've just been busy. . .i cleaned and organized our apartment -- i mean cleaned. like the grout between the tiles in our bathroom have been scrubbed with bleach using a toothbrush.

so i haven't been posting but i decided it would be wrong of me to not post some pictures from our holidays so i'll begin with the results of our annual chrismukkah decoarting party. you know the one -- where we make people come over to our house and feed them pigs in a blanket and cheeseballs and then expect them to make decoartions for our tree -- yeah, that one. well this year was a slightly smaller crew however the decorations were, dare i say, better than last year so here we go:

a simple blending of the traditions:

a jew on a christmas tree:

a bell with hanging bells: (is that meta?)

ladies:

the chrismukkah creatures:

the poetic ornament:

and lastly, perhaps my all time favorite, the conjoined twins:

that's right. . .they are gleefully announcing that they just received their driver's license. ms. n had just seen a documentary on these twins and was feeling inspired. every time i looked at that ornament i kept thinking "when they get pulled over for speeding who has to give their license to the cop?"

anybody know the answer?

Nap Alert!

2008-01-07T15:27:00.000-05:00

by Rogray

This is the first entry in what will hopefully become an immense and historically unprecedented catalogue of naps. I hope this feature will be a frequent occurrence here on Crosswords, both for your sake, since you will all no doubt be endlessly entertained by my brilliant talking-about-naps abilities, but also for my sake, because it will mean I’m taking a lot of naps.

It seems fitting to begin in a realm where naps run rampant, unmitigated by typical societal restraints: the holiday vacation nap recap.

CHAPTER ONE – The Slow Descent to Leisure

The action began with Plane Ride Nap #1. Shaygo and I had ambitious plans for the journey, including watching a DVD, playing a card game, and reading books. Plane Ride Nap #1 was the first step in banishing those plans to oblivion. Difficult to gauge the time, but it lasted somewhere in the range of 20-40 min, and let me tell you, it never felt so good to crash while in an airplane.

(pause for laughter)

Woke up feeling relaxed, suffering from the naïve delusion that I would do some stuff. Then came Plane Ride Nap #2. I felt #2’s delicate hand guiding me toward sleep-land, as the Nap Gods gently closed my eyes. I resisted, screaming “NOOO!” (just in my mind, of course), fearing #2 would be a shabby attempt to recapture the glory of #1, leaving me groggy and with a headache. Like Jonah, I fled from my duty, trying desperately to keep my eyes open, but was quickly swallowed by a Nap Whale that took me slowly toward unconsciousness. Surprisingly, #2 was a lovely continuation of #1, more than a coda, an entire second movement expanding upon the relaxations of #1, taking it to a whole new level of comfort. Shaygo and I accomplished virtually none of our plane ride goals, and yet . . . it seemed like a whole lot was accomplished.

CHAPTER TWO – CHRISTMAS DAY

The presents had been opened. Wine had been drunk. Turkey consumed. I don’t subscribe to the Tryptophan myth. As I understand it, scientific evidence indicates that Turkey doesn’t actually contain enough Tryptophan to generate sleep-inducing effects. After the meal, though, when someone made a joke about “Tryptophan setting in” I didn’t argue the point and let it slide – I had more important things to do . . .

My 2 hour mammoth Christmas nap is the reason vacations were invented. It could be considered a continuation of the Plane Ride Naps (see Chapter 1 for description). Though distanced in time by a few days from the Plane Ride Naps, when viewed as a whole, this triplet marks my slow descent into unequivocal vacation crash mode. Shaygo, it should be noted, had been taking 2 hour naps essentially every day since the beginning of our vacation, and it was lovely to join her in what could be referred to as Nap Mayhem 2007. The season of giving officially became the season of taking . . . naps, that is.

(pause, adjust tie during cold silence)

CHAPTER THREE – The Bittersweet Nature of Impermanence

Two days before our departure I sat in the living room. The television was showing a football game that I wasn’t watching, people were sitting around, talking, reading magazines, monkeys were running around like maniacs. My thoughts turned to what lay ahead. A return to the subway commute, the biting cold air, that woman at work who irrationally hates me for no particular reason, sleep deprivation. With the knowledge of vacation’s conclusion at the forefront of my mind, my eyes closed, and I slipped into a quick 20 minute-er.

This nap stood on its own. A one act for sure, but like Pinter’s Ashes to Ashes, replete with intensity. Its power rested in my knowledge that the daily grind would prevent its frequent repetition. Bitterness and sweetness coexisting. The yin-yang of nappery.

CONCLUSION

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some lazy aristocrat napping on the cushion created by the drudgery of the proletariat. I nap hard because I work hard. The intervals between Nap Alerts may be substantial, as naps and "life" prove frequently to be bitter enemies. Who knows, though, perhaps some day soon on the subway I’ll succumb to the more lethargic angels of my nature and dose off between subway stops.

One things’s for sure…

The next time I nap, you’ll be the first to know.

don't call it a comeback

2008-01-04T10:04:00.000-05:00

happy new year y'all!! rogray and i are back from a tour of the southeast and i am back from my unintentional blog hiatus. . .so the 2 of you who read this (whaddup momgo & dadgo) your prayers have been answered.

i will be doing a longer post about all of our chrismukkah activities but for now i am keeping t simple and making a blog announcement.

Keeping in line with the whole New Year/New You thing I keep hearing about we will be adding a new feature:

NAP ALERT with ROGRAY!!!

rogray will be making occasional appearances on this here blog to let us know about his naps and i believe he will be starting with a vacation re-cap. if that doesn't excite you than you must have a very exciting life.

Happy New Year!! here's to keeping your resolutions!!

I brought the curl back and the golf hat

2007-11-14T11:08:00.000-05:00

yesterday morning while i was brushing my teeth rogray told me something shocking. apparently our cat harper had told him that she was going to go golfing.

at first i didn't believe him because, well, she's a cat and cats can't golf. but then harper sent me these pictures that she took from her iphone: (how she can afford an iphone is beyond me since all she does all day is sleep, eat, attack things that aren't there and then sleep again but there is a lot about her that doesn't add up.)

golfing. cats.

who knew?

I'm gonna lay down in the spa

2007-11-12T15:14:00.000-05:00

last year, literally, hazlet was kind of enough to give gift certificates for spa manicure/pedicures to koogs and myself for our birthdays. because koogs and i are lame it took us a full year to get around to using them.

rogray & hazlet's hubby, mr. gouldwood, wished us well as we went to get our nails did:

mr. gouldwood was showing us that he and rogray were going to be doing fun manly things like trying on clothes that are pink.

after a delicious 90 minutes of soaking, buffing, massaging and painting koogs and i emerged from the spa looking as if our fingers were dripping in jewels. we met up with hazlet at brunch to see what she might think:

hazlet likes the red!! i've never, ever painted my nails any other color bur clear so i am very happy to see that she liked it. but what about koogs' nails? will she go for the deep purple-red that she opted for?

and it's a YES!!! woo-hoo. . .after thanking hazlet through some deep transatlantic meditation that we are sure made it all the way to london to her and her new baby we parted ways and i went home to find this happening:

rogray is writing a paper for a class he's taking on WWI & WWII. he has devised an intricate system of note taking on index cards and even harper is overwhelmed:

i mean what the hell? is that just a bunch of paper toys for her to attack or is it some kind of giant puzzle that will lead her to lots of friskies and catnip? oh, it's neither. it's knowledge. about the world.

inevitably, even harper finds this knowledge thing intriguing:

since i wasn't writing a paper i decided to do some reading in front of our fireplace:

and promptly took an hour long nap. that's right. a dvd called radiant fireplace relaxed me like an actual fireplace and put me to sleep. . .because i'm cool like that.

don't wake me, i'm tired

2007-11-07T17:50:00.000-05:00

this is how i felt all day today. . .

I've Gotta Have Faith

2007-11-07T12:02:00.000-05:00

it is very rare on this blog that i comment on my friend's doings because, well, this blog is about me so you are stuck reading about me from my perspective in my voice and you WILL. LOVE. IT.

but this time i need to devote a post to one friend's doing because it is insanely major and impressive and fills me with such pride i simply cannot refrain from mentioning it to you, the 4 people who read this here site.

my friend, the reverend k, has published a book!!!!

it's called the faith between us and you can buy it here, here, or any online bookseller. or you can do what rogray and i did: went to our local barnes and noble and bought it in person. from the bookstore.

i can't imagine how surreal it must be to see your book sitting on the shelf of one of your neighborhood bookstores but i imagine it's pretty surreal since it was fairly surreal to call one of my neighborhood bookstores and talk to someone in the comparative religion section and have this interaction:

me: "hey, do you have the faith between us?"

them: "yes."

me: "will you put it on hold for me?"

them: "yes."

all i wanted to tell the guy was "dude, my friend totally co-wrote that shit." but instead i said "thanks" and rogray went and picked it up.

and i was filled with pride the moment i saw my friend's name on the cover and his picture on the inside. and now i have begun to read it.

and it is beautiful. it is a conversation through essays between two 30-something men -- one a catholic, one a jew, both who both believe in and cultivate their faith. it is honest and brave and delicate and full of curiosity and acceptance. so please, please go buy this book and read it. and then buy a copy and give it to your friend or family member or hairdresser. . .anyone you think might enjoy such a thing.

thank you.

a little horsy named Paul Revere

2007-11-06T14:38:00.000-05:00

this past weekend rogray and i jumped in a car and drove up to boston for a little sight-seeing trip and to visit his sister holgray (who i totally want to call hogray but rogray thinks that she wouldn't like it because then it's like her first name is ho but that's why i think it's funny because she's so not ho-ey).

saturday was a day of rain -- literally rain -- all day -- non-stop. but did that stop us intrepid tourists? NO!!

we forged ahead and went to quincy, ma (the birthplace of dunkin donuts) to tour the adams family estate. we started off at the mini-museum and tried on some colonial fashions:

apparently our forefathers drank dunkin donuts' coffee.

we hopped on a trolly

and proceeded on the tour of which there are no pictures because a: we weren't allowed to take pictures inside the houses and b: did i mention that it didn't stop pouring rain all day with wind gusts up to 30mph?

that night we went over to cambridge for a mini college reunion with his friends from his freshman year dorm. there was a lot of " you haven't changed a bit" going around but i imagine that with all of the marriages and babies they had all, in fact, changed quite a bit. you know -- like less pot smoking, no more platonic napping and less hair on the top of the head but more hair on the backs of the men.

here is the night told primarily through what the kids did:

this kid brought the cute:

and this one brought the adorable:

we brought the wacky:

and crisco brought the pain in his shoulder:

which you'd think his wife, an acupuncturist, would have taken care of but she was too busy smiling:

then the kids went bonkers:

we went back to the home of the harvard educated and continued our festivities over one of the best gin & tonics i've had in a long time and were treated to the sweet sound of kids with musical instruments:

the next day holgray treated us to brunch and took us for a lovely sightseeing walk through the back bay down to the charles river:

look how lovely holgray looks in this picture and then look closely at rogray. . .why is she so happy and he so confused?

we stopped to kiss this guy:

who holgray thought was einstein but turned out to be some musician and then we decided to pay homage to the dude who invented ether:

after that we went back to holgray's in the south end, got in the car, drove past fenway park and made our way home with a vow to return to good ole' beantown to tour the site of the great molasses flood of 1919 and take a little witch tour.

as holgray said, we like to go to the best places!

famous faces

2007-11-02T12:06:00.000-04:00

so i get to work today and open up my email and there is a message from my dad with the subject "Fan Club."

naturally, i assume he is writing to tell me that i have one and that they are selling crosswords and cupcakes t-shirts and having online discussions about how hilarious i am and whether or not rogray's hair looks better when it's really long or really short but. . .[sigh] no. it turns out i do not have a fan club.

but guess who does?

MY DAD!!!!

and guess where his fan club lives on the internets?

FACEBOOK!!!!

oh, yeah, my 67 year old dad has a fan club devoted to him on facebook organized by some of his students. they discuss the shirts that he wears, where he vacations, quotes -- i mean this is a legitimate fascination with my father.

so i joined facebook to see it and let me tell you -- this thing might be one of the most hilarious happenings on the world wide web i have ever seen.

and, i'm not gonna lie, i was filled with pride that my martini & margarita making, glasses wearing, pontificating father is cool enough to have a facebook profile.

i mean, do one of your parents have a facebook fan club?

yeah, i didn't think so.

we are family: part deux

2007-10-31T11:43:00.000-04:00

later that night my sister and her crew all showed up. they had to come late because monkey #1 had a track meet and he totally got a medal -- granted i think when the track meet is a bunch of 4-5 year olds everyone gets a medal -- but that's because they are all winners. they were very tired as evidenced by daisy's yawn:

i'm with ya' puppy -- i feel like that every night around 9:30. (btw -- this is, like, the perfect dog -- totally quiet and calm, acts like a hoover around the table but doesn't really beg, and is super cute.)

the next morning we got up and went to the river to look for ducks and monkey #2 was excited for the chance to tote his big boy backpack:

this boy has serious love for that backpack -- he didn't go so far as to bathe with it but he did have the backpack next to the bathtub -- his love runs deep.

once we got to the river monkey #1 set about teaching monkey #2 all about feeding ducks:

dadgo summoned us to the bridge and we fed the little floaters from there:

but once that got old the monkeys wanted to experience nature -- mainly monkey #1. we decided that monkey #1 is going to have his own nature show on the discovery channel called "the naked naturalist" -- which i guess is like saying automatic teller machine machine because aren't naturalists nudists? but that's not the kind of naturalist i mean -- i mean the two things he loves the most seem to be being naked and being in nature.

let's play my new favorite game a la where's waldo. . .i call it "spot the monkey":

after relaxing by the river and a quick hike we came home for lunch and an even quicker nap and then headed back out for some fishing! see you think i'm all new york city girl but i'm totes a country girl. i mean look at me:

i'm a fisherwoman! here's dadgo putting a worm on the hook for my sister:

and here's me watching him (warning: not my best picture):

see? totally country.

we all fished:

but only momgo actually caught a trout. go, momgo, go!

here's our fishy:

which was then gutted and cleaned by the lovely woman who owns and runs the trout pond:

the next morning momgo cooked fishy up:

i de-boned it in one fell swoop (see? country!):

and then, much to monkey #1's horror, we ate it:

with eggs and toast. because that is how you eat a trout and oh my goodness it was so so good.

after our hearty breakfast we went for hike numero dos to what was once a waterfall but is now a dribble down a rock thanks to the extreme drought that part of the country is going through:

that rock face use to be covered in rushing water and now it's so dry little daisy can run up like it ain't no thang.

monkey #1 continued to commune with nature:

while rogray and i posed in all of our adorableness (finally! one good picture):

and then we headed back. my sis and her crew headed home leaving momgo, dadgo, rogray and me to eat leftovers and watch a movie. the next day we headed back to nyc feeling refreshed, loved, and full.

oh, and yes, that is a reflective vest rogray is wearing in that last picture -- we didn't want him to be confused for a bear and get shot. if that's not family acceptance i don't know what is.

we are family: part one

2007-10-30T11:33:00.000-04:00

a few weekends ago my family gathered for our annual family weekend which serves as a get out of spending the holidays with us weekend. unfortunately my brother is off saving lives being all doctor-y so he and his wife couldn't come -- whatever -- his priorities are so out of whack.

rogray and i flew down to georgia where the droughts seem eternal and were quickly whisked away to mountains stopping here along the way:

oh, yes. that there sign is on the pig hill of fame. i'm not sure what you do to get your pig on that there hill of fame or why signs like these make the cut

but there you have it. and let me tell you something -- if the hill isn't enough to prove this joint's love of the pig maybe these photos will:

you can say what you want about their politics but there is only one thing to say about their bbq -- it's amazing. seriously.

you place your order with a nice southern lady before you even walk in and she writes it down for you and you give it to the nice people inside and pay for it before you sit down. they give you your cups and you get yourself some sweet tea:

which is super sweet and super tasty. (side note: i think one of the things my family loves most about having rogray come down to georgia is indoctrinating him into the southern food culture -- since new jersey isn't exactly known for any culinary specialties.) then you wait patiently with your paper towel holder decoration for your food to arrive:

and then it does. and then you eat this succulent, moist pork snadwich with, i swear to god, the best baked beans i have ever had.

after that we got to the cabin and went for a little stroll and posed for the camera (after a round of margaritas):

i feel i should tell you that this is one of two almost identical pictures of momgo, dadgo and myself and when deciding between which one to post i realized it didn't matter as dadgo is talking in both of them.

after a delicious dinner (momgo really hit it out of the park this weekend) we played some progressive rummy while we waited for my sister and her crew to arrive:

after winning the first hand i proceeded to lose operatically which resulted in my favorite picture of rogray and me i have ever taken:

next -- the nephews arrive and chaos ensues. . .

UPDATE: on the bagel buffet

2007-10-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

my grandma wrote to tell me to clarify one thing in response to my blog post.

**selma is 83 -- not 85 like i had stated in the previous post. selma, my apologies.**

she also emailed me this morning that she is going back to film another scene for the same movie and it is, obviously, a bar mitzvah scene. my fave quote: "don't know if I will be doing anything special. . .will let you know how that goes."

um, my grandmother is totally becoming a little starlet.

craft services! get this lady some mondel bread!

on the bagel buffet

2007-10-26T10:52:00.000-04:00

this is my grandma:

she's 94 but i think of her as a youthful 75. we call her gg -- that works on a number of levels. both her first and last names begin with g and she is a grandmother and a great-grandmother. that's a lot of g's.

gg is one of the most extraordinary people i know. she has had a challenging life -- her husband passed away and she was left with 4 children all under the age of 18. when you ask her how she coped with that she just sort of shrugs and says in her old jewish lady who lives in florida accent "whaaaat? you just keep goink (not a typo her g's always sound like k's). you can't fall apart when there are 4 children who need you."

i have never met someone with the resilience and grace that she has. i stub my toe and act as if the world is crumbling down around me. the love of her life passes away and she pulls herself together so she can be a good mom. we could all learn a thing or two from this lady.

until this year she was a world traveler -- antarctica two years ago, to china, russia, alaska, and pretty much anywhere else you can imagine -- she's been there. this past year she came to jamaica with us and went to russia. due to some fainting spells her doctor said that she couldn't see the world anymore which pissed her off royally. thankfully she can still come see her multitudes of family. it's hard for a 94 year-old woman who had to give up driving at 93. . .i'm telling you -- she's hardcore.

all of that is to say that gg is not only the matriarch of our family but it's bright, shining star so when she sends out an email (oh yeah -- this broad emails!) that tells you the following story it is very exciting. i'll let her tell it and you can imagine that she looks something like this as you read it and don't forget to read those g's as k's:

***selma signed me up for this call for seniors age 70 and up to be extras in a movie. we had to be at the pickup site at 6:30 am. as it was being held at the former bagel bar. there must have been about 50 or more of us. shortly after we arrived the director came over to where I was sitting and asked me how tall i was. when I told him he asked if I MINDED doing some personal acting. of course I said yes. so they put me int o several shots, it was fun watching them work and being a little bit special. It's called "Bart got a room" it is about a high schoolboy growing up in Hollywood, Fla. Just before we finished up I heard that it will probably take a year or two before it hits the theatres as it is being produced by a small group. so, I don't know if we will ever see it. but it was a fun day.***

ok -- there are many things about this story that make me happy.

1st: i love that her bff is a woman named selma who gg refers to as young because she's like 85 or something.

2nd: i love that it's at the former bagel bar. was that the pick-up spot for the hot single septuagenarian scene?

3rd: she was hand-picked by the director to be a more present background performer. OBVIOUSLY she was!!! look at her! she's stunning. and if you want some lovely elderly ladies to be chillin' at the bagel bar you want them to all look like her.

my family is obsessed with this story -- to quote "it's a hoot!" and if she isn't invited to the premiere (travesty) then i will fly down to florida and unroll my own red carpet for her from her apartment to the car to the ticket window to the concession stand all the way to our seats. because if there is one thing i know, she deserves it.

Free love on the freelove freeway

2007-10-23T15:05:00.000-04:00

ok, so i've been out of town in georgia with the fam (posts to follow) which means i missed two days of work which means that the amazingly wonderful (insert sarcasm)guy i have been temping for welcomed me back by saying "oh. hi. i've been mad at you the past two days since you weren't here and cursing you this whole time." totally awesome. . .i appreciate his candor? but not really.

anyway -- if that wasn't my david brent/michael scott moment then this is:

there's the guy who my boss wanted to meet with. . .let's call him mohammed. and when he came into my boss' office my boss had his back to the door so he asked “who’s there?” and mohammed said “It’s mohammed” and my boss said – “oh my god all of these bizarre, weird names!”

i'll just let those words speak for themselves.

The Sound of Business

2007-10-17T15:37:00.000-04:00

i don't know if you've ever noticed but i totes get bored at work -- sometimes this leads to hours of mindless web-surfing which then leads to the ammassing of useless knowledge like that bai ling is a woman who may have been in a movie once and who definitely makes questionable wardrobe decisions.

sometimes this boredom leads to creativity and my last temp job helped me to discover a new talent: drawing.

not drawing on paper with a pen -- i'm actually quite horrible at that. i mean drawing using the paint program still oddly available on all pcs.

here is one in a series of two. it's called from me to you.

can you guess what it is? ok -- i'll tell you. it's me sending rogray an email. see how that email is being electronically sent through the air? i'm amazing.

the other in this series of two is called hostage.

i won't go into why it's called hostage but i'm sure some of you have felt this way about your computer at some point. isn't the gun impressive? i did that with a computer mouse people! and the apple laptop -- oh god! i'm soaking up your silent applause before i even post this.

perhaps i will continue down this newly discovered creative path and build a whole ouevre. . .

autumn sweater

2007-10-12T17:21:00.000-04:00

so summer has officially faded from both the calendar and the new york weather which means that the flip-flops are being put in the back of the closet and the hunt for the perfect sweater has begun. fall in new york is my favorite part of living here -- suddenly everything becomes nostalgic and awesome -- apple cider, brisk walks, and the sinus infections like the one i've had for the past week that has made me sound like an 80 year-old smoker. awesome.

and since i've been hiding from this wee little blog i have a back-log of pictures to post and things to talk about and amazing observations that illustrate my deep knowledge on a variety of subjects but first i'll post some pictures of my last visit to coney island from this summer. . .because our beloved beach side amusement park may never be the same again:

we bought some tickets:

to go on this:

there were two choices of cars: stationary or ones that swing. koogs hates anything that moves in a way other than her two feet on pavement so why she agreed to this is beyond me

but there we are.

her nerves are hidden by that big smile which quickly faded when we saw this:

let me tell you people something -- the last thing you need to see while you are in a metal cage that is swinging surprisingly violently hundred of feet in the air is a dude with a wrench working on the damn thing. . .

after we survived the wonder wheel the birthday girl decided she wanted to go on this:

maybe it looks innocent enough to you. you had to go two at a time so i was originally going to sit it out with koogs who wanted nothing to do with it but at the last minute this 7 year-old wanted to go on and her parents wouldn't go with her. i was suckered into being her chaperone and was treated to this:

and this:

ok, a few comments. first off i am not squeamish when it comes to rides like these -- in fact -- i love them. my favorite ride at coney island is called the break dance and it is so violent in it's spinning and reverse spinning that people who have just eaten should avoid it at all costs -- also if you think you like roller coasters you probably won't like the break dance.

now, the zipper may not be as "zippy" but it is more upsetting because there are moments where you actually think and feel like you are going to plummet to the earth quickly and die in a horrifying manner as you flip forward and around and upside down -- don't get me wrong, it was fun and the 7 year-old girl i was crushing loved it -- but still -- i was done after that ride.

and that was the last ride i went on at coney island this year. and i think it's safe to say that was the end of my fun in the sun summer. . .happy autumn. i'm off to buy a new sweater. . .

dancin' like she never danced before

2007-09-17T23:17:00.000-04:00

a few weeks ago before school started and my commute became clogged with children carrying backpacks 4 times their size, koogs and hulk asked a few of us to come with them to the beach. because we are nice and didn't want them to feel like losers we said yes.

us on the beach looked like this:

notice how koogs' sandwich is practically in her lap but her mouth is already open? someone's hungry. . .

hulk sleepy. hulk used as base for japanese rock garden.

after napping and sunning with the appropriate spf 50 sunblock we headed back to the house for some gin & tonics and steak. . .but somehow in between the g&t and the red meat a dance party happened and we got to bizzzzness.

serious, serious bidness.

somewhere along the way miss n. became unhinged:

running man? roger rabbit?:

i threw in a few hip-hop yoga moves:

koogs got a little dirrrrrty:

but the real winner here is miss n. whose dress broke during the performance but she kept dancing anyway:

here's what was happening in the other room while miss n. was giving j.lo a run for her hard earned money:

don't worry -- we all came together in the end for the ceo's performance of the fresh prince of bel-air:

she's so hardcore. . .

as is this outfit:

oh, and the beach was awesome. i can't wait to see it again. . .next year.

bah, bah, bah-baaaaaaaah, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

2007-09-16T21:52:00.000-04:00

a few weeks ago ms. mo told me to save the 22nd for mr. mo's birthday dinner. he was deciding between his favorite chinese restaurant and Mars 2112.

if you don't want to go to the website i understand -- let me be your guide.

i realized his b-day dinner was the same day as yom kippur so i couldn't really attend and when we discovered that he had decided on chinese for the celebration rogray and i volunteered to go with mr. & ms. mo for the Mars 2112 experience...as a birthday present of sorts. see how generous we are?

Mars 2112 is in times square. the location alone should really tell you everything.

oh, did i mention this is a mars themed restaurant? do i also need to tell you that brad brought maddox here a few months ago? that's right -- we hang with the celebs.

to get to the restaurant where the food is supposedly

you have to take a "ride" to the restaurant. here are the doors closing in on us:

we have lift-off people:

and asteroids:

this "ride" wasn't just a glorified elevator with a screen, oh no. it was a glorified sensory deprivation tank where you sit with a bunch of kids who look like they might crap themselves and watch crappy graphics while the floor shakes and tilts violently. it was enough to make us all light-headed and sick in the tummy - just what you need when you are about to eat.

when you're done being shaken like a martini you are thrust into this:

at least that's what it looked like to us. once our eyes adjusted you realize that you have actually been thrust into this:

oh my god!! it's mars!!

weird that the pathfinder only sent back pictures like this:

we sit down amidst the large groups of families and tourists and order our burgers despite the menu trying to convince us that a healthy option was vegetable linguini alfredo and our quickly greeted with not one, not two, but at least 8 different birthday celebrations. it was constant -- i've never heard the damn birthday song so many times -- especially with the word earthling in it.

and as an added bonus you are treated to martian "views" and "news updates" as well as musings from this guy:

inspired we decided to take some mars glamour shots:

ms. "the air is so thin!" mo:

mr. "i'm the birthday boy" mo:

"i'm stranded on mars!" shaygo:

and "you're seriously making me do this?" rogray:

as we left, full of martian burgers, i think we all agreed that we were happy to have made this intergalactic journey to the basement of a skyscraper on 51st & broadway but that perhaps it was best that mr. mo had decided to go for chinese on his birthday.

also, this is why i haven't been blogging so much lately -- i've been busy.

Darling, I love you so

2007-08-26T22:50:00.000-04:00

three years ago to the day i met rogray for the first time. we were at karaoke hanging out with our mutual friend the critic. (whaddup critic!)

the story as i like to tell it is that he fell in love with me instantly and i thought he was funny but weird because he was wearing a suit. yes, i am that lame.

rogray has a different version but this isn't his blog so he doesn't get to tell it here unless he wants to kick it in the comments.

exactly three months later, to the day, (october 26) rogray and i locked lips for the first time and that was it. i dipped my single lady shoes in bronze, put them on the mantle and said "i'm with this guy."

one month before i met rogray -- to the day -- i turned 26 on july 26th which means it was my golden birthday. the blurb on wikipedia defines it thusly: One's golden birthday, also called a champagne birthday, is the day when the age someone turns is the same as the day in the month he or she was born. (for example, someone turning 26 on December 26 celebrates his or her golden birthday).

(as you can see the number 26 figures very important in our lives: my birthday, the age we met each other, the night we first met, and the night we count as our anniversary. even wikipedia uses 26 in the description of a golden birthday. what the hell?)

so basically this was supposed to be a very special, life changing and important year in my life. and i would have to say that it was.

to say that meeting rogray changed my life would be an understatement. (not that i am prone to exaggeration.) i've tried writing words to describe how much this man means to me -- how he has changed my life in every way for the better and how happy he makes me by simply walking through the door at the end of the day but it seems to be hard to put into words.

it is also hard to put int words the relief i felt when i found out that the reason he was wearing a suit the first night we met was because he had just come from his grandfather's 80th birthday dinner.

in a pretty magazine

2007-08-20T22:40:00.000-04:00

what magazine does rogray gift himself?

awwwww, yeah. . .

that's right. . .my man likes himself some real simple. . .not for the articles silly.

for the recipe porn in the back.

I love my computer

2007-08-19T20:17:00.000-04:00

rogray got a new computer!! and i want one!

it's a macbook with that photobooth camera. . .so i think you can guess what happened when i got my hands on it for 5 minutes:

i have a feeling that this is not the last photo-both post. . .

so, readers. . .which is your favorite?

Take this sinking boat and point it home

2007-08-13T10:05:00.000-04:00

rogray and i saw Once yesterday. you may have seen the preview for it and you may have thought to yourself "that looks interesting" or you may have started crying inexplicably like i did. every time. i hadn't even seen the movie and i was crying during the preview.

very rarely does a movie live up to a preview since the preview is the best moments stitched together to whet your appetite and get you to buy the ticket. this movie lives up to and surpasses the build-up of the preview.

the dude says it better than i can: Once is far from typical, though. Like with music, it's the singer, not the song, that makes us connect with it. Writer/Director John Carney and his actors do everything they can to make this as far from typical and run of the mill as possible. Yes, the story may be simple, but there are no story contrivances, only the reality of the situations. What happens between Guy and Girl I will not divulge, for that is a journey you have to make yourself. Because you owe it to yourself to see this movie.

go see this movie. if you aren't crying like a baby as the credits begin to roll than you have no soul and have never loved. you are a shell of a human being so good luck to you.

so listen to the dude or listen to me but go see the movie and if you don't like it then i'm sorry -- but i bet you that not only will you love it -- you'll go buy the soundtrack because you'll want to listen to all the songs again and again...

A-camping we will go

2007-08-10T10:45:00.001-04:00

before rogray left for sundance he arranged for us to go on a special surprise weekend to celebrate my birthday early (he was missing it? have i said that already? oh, i've said it 20 times?) and have a weekend together before we weren't going to see each other for 3 weeks.

the surprise? camping!!!

he reserved us a site at taconic state park, specifically the copake falls area. when we arrived at our reserved site not only had a 3 family group unpacked on it and left a note asking if it was okay for us to take their site we realized that either site was smack dab in the middle of a seventh day adventist church group and the aforementioned 3 family site stealer. rogray was confused because they guy on the phone when he made the reservation was like "yeah, that's a secluded site" but actually is what the opposite of secluded and in fact so surrounded by people of all ages that a realtor would describe it as "centrally located" or "smack dab in the middle of the heartbeat of the city." which is not want you want on your surprise romantic camping trip.

so after a drive around the other sites and a few trips to the office we were able to get a site that was actually secluded and not surrounded by screaming children, hymnal singers or in close proximity to what seemed to be a group camping trip that was either a family reunion or a political rally -- i don't know because they were speaking in spanish and yelling things and i think at one point someone had a drum. we were at the top of a hill and the only people next to us were the 2 british girls who drank a lot. perfect!

now when i say camping what i really mean is glamour camping or glamping. see we may be in a tent and we may have to cook on a fire pit but that does not mean we need to sacrifice style.

god, i'm classy.

so after we took a walk and a bracing swim in the swimming hole we started to drink and cook:

while we waited for the feast to cook we started a very intense game of scrabble:

do not cross me. . .

we took a break to eat this:

by the time we had finished up our totally awesome meal o' grill we went back to playing the very intense game of scrabble but this time with very attractive lighting:

and some new friends:

and then i KICKED ROGRAY'S ASS AT SCRABBLE!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

the next morning rogray seemed to have shaken off the bitter disappointment of losing at the MOST IMPORTANT SCRABBLE GAME EVER

and got to work on breakfast:

you know it's glamping when you bring your french press and breakfast looks like this:

after breakfast rogray tried to fly like a turkey and no, i can't remember how this came about but i have it on camera which is really all that matters:

i think now you know why we might want to be in a more secluded environment. after we humiliated ourselves we went for a hike to the bash-bish falls.

which is in massachusetts!! we had to hike all the way to another state! that's how hardcore we are. state border crossing hardcore!!*

we finally got to the falls:

and had to take a break because of the strenuous nature of our journey. this is the canopy under which we lazed:

we then made the massive state border crossing trek back to new york

and promptly went for another bracing dip in the swimming hole. now, when i say bracing i mean this water was so cold that grown men who clearly wanted to be considered tough and awesome were too scared to jump in because of what might happen to their special man area. it was so cold that you spent the first 5 minutes shivering and the next 5 debating whether or not to pee so at least there would be a warm spot followed by the next 20 minutes swimming around looking for the warm spots and not caring if your floating in someone's urine because by god, at least it's warm. it was amazing.

after that lunch:

yeah, that's grilled bread. . .

and a very important game of boggle:

in which i KICKED ROGRAY'S ASS AT BOGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

we celebrated by making daytime early birthday s'mores:

sadly, that brought our completely awesome surprise early birthday camping trip to a close. we drove back to brooklyn, loaded up our bags for our various trips and parted ways very, very early the next morning.

for all you interested in what you need to go glamping please feel free to ask me. and if you are looking for a great spot in the new york area i highly suggest this place. ..it's beautiful. . .
----------------------------
*full disclosure: the whole hike is 1.5 miles--round-trip.

the times they are a'changing: scary edition

2007-08-09T15:55:00.000-04:00

well, this is definitely what my mother fought for.

now, this bill probably won't pass but it scares the crap out of me that it's even up for discussion. . .ay ay ay.

Let the rain fall down. . .

2007-08-09T09:02:00.000-04:00

i don't if you heard but apparently the world ended yesterday here in new york.

here is the only picture i took of the aftermath yesterday:

look closely, that tree got knocked over so hard the pavement came with it. koogs got pictures of more of the insane damage including a picture of a tree that was upside down in someone's front yard separated cleanly from it's base. . .the whole scene is bananas.

as much damage as there was i am amazed there wasn't more. if multiple trees were being ripped out of the pavement then it seems like some kind of miracle that more roofs weren't ripped off or that the apartment building surrounded by the damage (read: ours) weren't damaged. . .and another thing - i'm a complete scaredy cat. this is the one time that a massive, loud storm that kept me awake didn't scare the bejeezus out of me -- but had it scared me i might have looked out our bedroom window and seen a twister making it's way through the streets of brooklyn.

I found my thrill.

2007-08-06T09:49:00.000-04:00

at Blue Hill.

koogs had asked me to save the evening of July 31st for my surprise birthday present and told me to dress nice -- which is good because normally i look like i just rolled out of bed and thought that my pyjama pants could double as evening wear.

but since she asked i put on a nice top, skirt and -- wait for it -- shoes! i met her at the West 4th St. stop on the F at 6:45 pm and we began to walk and she said "i know that you like a good meal and i know that you can't afford to treat yourself these days so i thought i'd treat you to the chef's tasting menu at my favorite restaurant in the city" and then there we were. standing at the door of Blue Hill which I had been wanting to go to for ages. and there i was -- about to walk in.

i was very very excited. ordering was easy -- the tasting menu (which changes every day) and a glass of pinot blanc which was an absurdly delicious wine whatever it was.

i didn't take any pictures -- i was trying to be well behaved -- dadgo's response to that? he "thought he raised me right so what's with this well-behaved crap?" fair enough -- it will never happen again.

here was the meal:

amuse-bouche (because every mouth deserves amusement and yes i know how that sounds): a warmed cherry tomato with salt and a garlic cracker. how can that be special? if it's the single ripest and freshest tomato you've ever put in your mouth and a light wafer with a punch of garlic striking you first only to melt away leaving a phantom sweetness behind.

appetizer: grilled country bread with arugula salt. i don't even know how to describe this but it was literally a taste i have never experienced before in my life.

salad: i think this was our favorite. a tomato salad with cucumbers and grilled peaches and apricots topped with a tomato sorbet and cucumber foam. basically this salad was summer in a bowl -- light, crisp and cold with the warm smokiness of grilling. i also think this dish sums up everything this place is about. homegrown, yet accessible ingredients combined and used in ways that surprise you. so yes, tomato sorbet and cucumber foam is fancy but you can grill a peach on your own and i suggest you do -- throw it with some fresh heirloom tomatoes and i bet you'll like it.

fish: halibut steak with zucchini flowers and a caper vinaigrette -- 'nuff said. the next time you have a piece of fish that was very likely caught that day call me and let's discuss.

meat: at first i was all "chicken? that's rogray's fave. what about some lamb or crazy pork thang? what about something involving marrow? i mean, LET'S DO THIS!" well i now love chicken. but this barely resembled chicken. the meat was moist and the taste was complex and dark. it was as if they cross bred a duck and a chicken -- and i mean that. it would be called a dicken? a chuck? or perhaps the awesomest meat ever. and the chicken was served with a summer bean medley so if you think you hate lima beans i suggest going to here to change your opinion.

dessert #1 (oh yeah, there were 2 desserts. what?) blueberry compote with fromage blanc ice cream and granola. i don't think we spoke to each other during this course. we were too busy.

dessert #2: steamed cheesecake with an apricot glaze. see how they did that? apricot in the salad to apricot in the final course -- full circle. and this was the best presentation hands down -- served in little mason jars which the cheesecake was cooked in. i bet you are wondering about the steamed part -- i had some reservations but not anymore -- it made the cheesecake light yet dense -- i don't know how it just did.

and then the petit closer at the end of it all: toasted coconut crusted marshmallows. why not?

this was one of the best meals i have ever had in my life. each bite was a new experience -- no dish was unfamiliar yet each bit was a complete surprise. koogs said it best -- this is the kind of meal that you don't devour because it's so delicious -- you savor it. this is what going out should be like -- not in terms of price -- who can afford this every day? but in terms of experince. the ingredients weren't just respected -- they were exalted. everything put in front of you was meant to excite, delight and comfort you.

this was an amazingly lavish and decadent gift and i felt so spoiled and loved -- it was really great and i can't thank koogs enough for treating me to such a wonderful birthday dinner.

some day i'll return the favor. she can order whatever she wants off of the value at mcdonald's. it's on me. just kidding -- how about the chef's tasting menu at chez shaygo? it'll be the best popcorn you've ever had. . .

it's my birthday too. . .

2007-07-31T11:13:00.000-04:00

last thursday i turned the big 2-9. i know. you're shocked. how could i be 29 when i look like i'm 18?

card that lady!

well, i am. i was born on july 26th in 1978 at 8:22pm. thanks mom! (& dad)

usually i love my birthday -- rogray's birthday is on june 30th and i use that to kick start my birthday celebration and spend the next month telling everyone i know that my big day is just around the corner. the celebration culminates at some kind of soiree where all my friends and acquaintances are forced to gather around me and tell me that i am the prettiest, smartest, funniest and most talented lady they know. and that i have a really nice rack.

(p.s. there is a penis shaped swizzle stick in between my boobs in that picture. not just because i am a classy, mature lady but also because it was koogs' bachelorette party.)

this year was a very different birthday. a: rogray wasn't here. b: i didn't feel up to organizing a party so i just had some ladies over to watch so you think you can dance (best show ever) and eat dinner. aka kickied it very low key. c: this is the first birthday i wasn't insanely excited about.

but why? i do think it had something to do with being a year away from the really big 3-0. i know, i know. i'm still really young and have my whole life ahead of me and age is just a number and all that crap but i have yet to meet someone who greeted turning 30 as anything but a mild form of doom. gone are the glory days of being able to stay out until 4am drinking and hoping to get laid (not that i ever did that momgo and dadgo) only to wake up at 8am to go to work. gone are the glory days of being able to eat 4 slices of pizza drink a soda and have an ice cream without walking into a gastrointestinal nightmare. gone are the days of even thinking that the aforementioned activities are even remotely glorious. now i'm tired by 11:30pm and have to restrict my grease and, dare i say?, dairy intake. and i like being in bed a little early and eating dinner in. . .basically i've left the 20s and am headed right into my 30s.

the real reason for my ennui though is that i feel, for the first time in my life, that i am not sure what i want to do or how to get where i want to go. i've dedicated my life to theater since i was a child and now, i am not so sure that is what i am meant to do. or if it is, how to do it. when i think about what i want my life to look like in the next 20-30 years it involves sitting in a rehearsal room at some awesome college teaching the youth of america why they should blindly commit their lives to a career as a theater artist when there is no guarantee of success much less money or security and that such a commitment puts you on the expres train to a life of out of control egos, insane insecurity and frustration. it is so amazing you guys.

as i embark on my 30th year and realize that my "career" seems to be at the same place it was when i graduated from college and yet i still believe that i have something to give i realize that i feel more lost now than i ever have and yet on a personal level i feel more adult and mature than ever before. do you see how confusing? i am not yet ready to give up on the "dream" and get furious with anyone who suggests giving up and yet i am at a loss for how to get to where i want to go.

so what the hell am i supposed to do? i'm not sure but i have a feeling i'm going to be spending the next year of my life trying to figure it out.

son of a bitch.

Happy Birthday to me!

Let's Get Physical

2007-07-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

see that car? see how that car kicks ass? it's the kind of car that you wouldn't want to pull up next to you at a stop light and challenge you to a race because you would surely be left in the dust because you are driving a minivan. but if you were training for some drag races this is the car you would want to train you.

so where am i going with this? well i just got a personal trainer and her name is, i kid you not, PORSCHE. and she is the ass-kicking car and i am the minivan. you've seen pictures of me on this blog -- i am adorable, soft, round and a rubens-esque dream. porsche is this totally hot, cut, ass so tight you could bounce quarters off of it lady who is going to be sculpting the clay of my body into stone, cold marble. that sounded dirty.

after the first session i am sore -- but not so sore that i think i'm going to die -- just sore enough to remind me of all those muscles i've been ignoring. and, at the end of our first session she looked at me with her chiseled features and her flowing dreads and said what we all had been thinking: "i am going to kick your ass."

oh. my. god.

I'm sorry, so sorry

2007-07-03T21:18:00.000-04:00

the past few weeks have been mind-blowingly busy:

*finished filming for the documentary
*koogs' bachelorette party
*coney island mermaid parade
*sinus infection
*rogray's birthday (he's 29!!!)
*koogs' wedding

and now this week:

*the 4th
*getting ready to go to hazlet's wedding in london
*getting rogray ready to go to the sundance theater lab
*celebrating my birthday (i'm 29!!!) a few weeks early since rogray is going to miss it-- it's a surprise and all i know is it involves going away somewhere on saturday -- i love my birthday!

all of that is to give you an excuse as to why i haven't been updating this thing.

when i get back from london town this site is going to be on fire people. on fire.

i will leave you with this quick story from koogs' wedding:

during the cocktail hour after the amazing ceremony (tears galore) i went to the bar and ordered a vodka tonic. and guess what happened? I GOT CARDED. at a hotel bar. at one of my best friend's wedding!!!!!!! WHAT??? koogs' 25 year old brother had to convince them that i was, in fact, not just of age but a year away from 30. humiliating.

Daytrippers!

2007-06-13T09:52:00.000-04:00

rogray and i got in the car on saturday and headed north, out of the city and into the wilderness, for some fresh air, hiking and general non-pavement/building oriented activity.

after a quick stop at trader joe's for some snacks we hit the road:

extreme close-up:

this is a woman ready for wilderness:

first we ate our picnic lunch and here is rogray enjoying some of it!

fascinating, yes? oh, it isn't fascinating? well, where did you eat lunch on saturday? at home? oh, you had brunch at a cafe? yeah -- we ate lunch out too. . .by a lake suckers!

after we polished off our chicken salad we hit the trails for some hiking:

we were on the orange trail. . .which led us to this view:

soon after we realized that we had been walking downhill the entire time and that we had no idea how far away we were from the end of the trail so we decided to turn back around for fear that we would have to hike back uphill for two hours -- we wanted to keep the day nice and not have it devolve into me sitting on the side of the trail crying because "why, god, why did you have to make the earth so hilly??"

we went back to the lake and relaxed on a rock looking at this:

don't you feel calmer just looking at that picture!

when we were able to shake off some of our relaxed fog we decided to go look for some pick your own orchards -- we didn't find any.

but we did find this:

it's a train -- that is decaying in the grass by the side of the road where, apparently, train tracks once were. there was no sign as to what or why this was but there you have it. weird. and creepy.

after all that driving we were hungry so we found a lovely restaurant and ate lovely italian food -- the single best antipasti platter i've ever had and i didn't take a single photo of it. but i did get a shot of rogray looking at me lovingly:

and this is the little lady he loves so much:

don't i look like a crazy stalker in that photo? he is one very lucky man.

when were done with dinner we drove back home and slept for 11 hours -- day trips make you sleepy.

I Turn My Camera On

2007-06-06T16:11:00.000-04:00

i usually don't talk about what i do on this blog because it doesn't seem like it would be so fascinating to anyone (apparently i believe mundane photo stories about what we made for dinner and how i spent my weekend are endlessly engaging--i think i have everything backwards) -- and what i mean by "what i do" is attempt to direct plays and not temping. because if i ever say "i'm a temp" in response to the question "what do you do?" please hunt me down, tie me up and make me eat my weight in marshmallows while reciting the "pledge of allegiance" for i will have officially surrendered the last bit of hope i have left.

but what i am doing right now is so exciting, different and challenging to me i simply have to write it:

i am making a short documentary.

there. i said it. out loud. on a keyboard.

see that teeny, tiny camera that isn't really up to the task of capturing my genius on film? that's the camera i'm using. see this:

that's the humongous shotgun microphone i'm using that makes my camera look like it was crocheted by nuns.

but shaygo? what are you making a documentary about?

i am so glad you asked fictional person who may be reading this blog!

it's about education. and children. in other words -- our nation's future.

ok, not quite so lofty but it is about children and education and, more specifically, p.s. 29 in brooklyn where koogs teaches 3rd grade.

here's what happened long story short -- koogs' kids were studying africa and got really into it and then one of them brought in this picture

from the new york times and said "isn't it intense that kids go to school like this?" and all the other kids responded with "yeah. let's do something to help them." and the next thing you know these kids are telling koogs that maybe she should start with UNICEF and getting her in touch with people they know at the U.N. (ok, so one of them has a mom that works there but whatever) and conquering our world's hunger problem and brokering peace deals between israel and hezbollah. 3rd grade has changed my friends.

so what? you're asking -- kids do stuff like this all the time. except that they don't. and i rarely hear of kids motivating entire fundraising projects themselves or turning a unit of study into a classroom obsession.

and you might be tempted to say that it is this class in particular but the whole school has amazing things going on it. teachers who volunteer to teach free e.s.l. classes to the parents of children taking e.s.l. teachers who bring in non-profits such as Border Crossers to work with their class. and they still have time to meet all the state and national requirements and benchmarks put forth by state and national boards of education.

so how does this school do it? well, that's what i'm trying to figure out. the principal hires teachers that she trusts, believes in knows to have a clear and distinct love for education and then she lets them do their thing. it helps that the teachers are motivated enough to begin diversity initiatives and internal think tanks to teach their students how to address taboo topics like homosexuality, race, eating disorders, religious conflict and so on. it helps that the teachers collaborate with their students by remaining flexible enough to let the student's excitement inform their teaching and to talk to the students with respect and empower them to shape their own education. and it helps that kids are kids and respond so successfully when they know that they have a voice.

all of this is to say that i have put in my notice at this temp job so that i can spend the last 2 weeks at the school without interruption and interview other teachers and get as much footage as possible of the kids in koogs' class discussing how roald dahl reinforces gender stereotypes of women as being weak and dependent on men.

no joke. that really happened.

down by the schoolyard

2007-06-01T19:42:00.000-04:00

i've been tagged by parabasis!! i've never been tagged before and rogray hipped me to the tagging before i had a chance to see it on the critic's blog (he's not really a critic, he's a director but he is good at the critique). anyway, when rogray told me i had been tagged i was all, "someone hacked into my blog and put graffitti all over it?" and he was all "you're an idiot."

i went to look at parabasis and realized that it was tagged as in "you're it, suckah."

here are the rules of this particular game: you (meaning me) have to post 8 random facts about yourself. then, in the post, you, the tagged, magically tag eight other bloggers and notifies them that they have been tagged.

now the word tagged looks and sounds weird.

ok, here goes:

1. i swear. a lot. like a truck driver.

2. i have very flexible hip joints.

3. i am looking forward to getting glasses because i think that i will look older and people will take me seriously -- also, i like all the gestures you can do with a pair of glasses -- they add drama.

4. i have no problem starting a book and not finishing it if i think it's boring or i don't like it.

5. i have a very difficult time admitting i don't know something.

6. for the longest time i was convinced that the lyric in the steve miller song "the joker" was "really love your beaches/wanna shake your trees" -- it is actually "really love your peaches/wanna shake your tree" -- i justified this by saying that beaches made sense if they were coconut trees that he was talking about.

7. i grew up in atlanta, ga and used to say y'all all the time -- i've been in New York for the past 10 years (minus that l.a. year) and now if i say y'all it is a surprise and sounds weird coming out of my mouth -- and that makes me a bit sad.

8. i have a pet stuffed dolphin named hyman shfinklehymer that rogray won for me at a street fair when our relationship was in long distance mode. he's the only jewish-british dolphin in the world.

ok, there they are, 8 random things -- am i not one of the more fascinating specimens on this planet?

who shall i tag? ok, i just realized that i don't know 8 bloggers which makes me some kind of internet loser. . .great -- just like middle school. i'm gonna tag 6 blog people who i don't think will kill me and who probably know 8 blog people themselves.

boys, you're up:

jk, the dude, mr. smith, mr. dan, puntabulous

we'll call these our salad days

2007-06-01T13:33:00.000-04:00

i don't mean to brag but. . .i have been making some of the best salads lately!

i love salad. not your iceberg lettuce, carrot, cucumber, bottled vinaigrette salad.

no. luscious, packed, fresh salads with different textures and flavors and delights.

my dad makes a mean caesar which rogray made for one of his 30 meals and it is at the top of my list but we're not talking about my dad. we're talking about me.

the first salad i am really enjoying right now is a simple "mexican" salad. it breaks down like this:

leafy lettuce (like romaine)
fresh, firm juicy tomatoes
raw corn right off the cob
black beans
red onion
avocado
shredded cheddar
1 lime
olive oil
salt and pepper

*chop up the lettuce, tomatoes, onion & avocado.
*slice the corn right off the cob -- no need to cook!
*rinse off those beans and dump 'em in th bowl.
*cut up that avocado and shower it with a squeeze from that lime and throw it on top of all that other stuff.
*go ahead -- sprinkle some cheddar on top of that
*give another squeeze of lime juice over the pile and drizzle with a light, citrus-y olive oil, salt & pepper and eat.

and if you want go ahead and serve it with some chips and salsa.

now for my "Company's Coming but I Don't Want to Cook them Anything" salad:

spinach & some mixed greens
beets
persian cucumber (oh they are the most cucumber-y cucumber)
artichoke hearts
fennel (any parts. fronds, bulb, both)
pear (i prefer bosc but i imagine any will do) or apple
walnuts (raw)
dried cranberries
parmesan
prosciutto -- if you want to get funky
dressing

*to make the beets wrap those suckers in foil and bake on 400 for 45 minutes then cool, peel and chop. tip: if you don't have gloves to wear while peeling and chopping and your hands get all lady macbeth on you don't you worry -- wash your hands with salt and that spot will come right off your gorgeous skin! no lie!
*chop everything up and throw it all together
*parmesan tip: use your veggie peeler on the block of cheese and you get nice thick shavings and feel like you are an expert chef ready for your own show on the food network
*dressing: i usually just use fresh lemon juice, olive oil, and salt & pepper but if i'm feeling up to it i throw a dash of sugar in a cup, add some white vinegar and dissolve the sugar in that, add a spoonful of dijon mustard, and finish it off with olive oil, and salt & pepper.

you will not regret these salads especially if it's hotter than jk's house when he's entertaining the ladies. . .hi-yo!!

Walk This Way

2007-05-30T11:13:00.000-04:00

rogray and i leave our apartment around 8am to get to work on time. there is a man who lives on our floor who leaves at the same time. and he is my new obsession.

he looks kind of like a less attractive version of this guy:

side note: that guy is paul giamatti's older brother, marcus, who is an actor (whaddup judging amy!) and session musician. who knew?

anyway, the walking man in question looks like an older, schlubbier marcus giamatti and he walks unlike any person i have seen before.

he always wears a plaid button down shirt, some kind of pant, and, i think i'm right about this, a member's only jacket -- or a windbreaker -- and carries the same briefcase with him. his clothing does not make him a man worth being fascinated by though. it's the walk.

he, like us, takes the stairs instead of the elevator. we have a very loud stairwell so most people sound kind of like an elephant coming down the stairs but when he comes down the stairs it's not one elephant but rather a herd of elephants mixed with a pack of ravenous hyenas with a bull thrown in for good measure -- and then he swings open the doors with such vigor you think that he might shove them off of their hinges. and finally the walk to the train.

oh! the walk to the train!!!

his stride is twice the length of his body and his right arm (because i swear to you he only carries his suitcase in his left hand) swings so violently and extremely that i bet parents have to shield their children from it lest he inadvertently punch in the face.

i use to think he must walk like this because it's the morning and maybe he's perpetually late but then i saw him on the walk home from the train but unless he always has a pot of water on the stove or forgets to extinguish the candles on his altar, this is how he always walks.

rogray has become obsessed with him as well and whenever we see him we like to imagine different things about him -- like how crazy it must be to watch him walk around the office -- or if that is how he walks to the bathroom in the middle of the night -- or if he is an accountant -- or if he has dead bodies in his freezer.

the other morning rogray had the pleasure of holding the door open for him and he spent the whole time wondering if he was going to get a thank you -- and mr. walk did thank him but it was quick, mumbled and perfunctory.

i love this guy!

Goin' to the Chapel: Segway Edition: Part 2

2007-05-29T15:20:00.000-04:00

so now these two are married which means one thing: PARTY!!!

at first, things were very subdued -- lovely speeches were given which made the very new newlyweds smile:

including a very touching, funny and sweet toast by le bff:

she was trying to tally up just how many women tom waits dated before the prom queen.

this made the happy couple laugh -- tom waits because he was nervous and prom queen because it was funny:

but once the sun set things got funky:

real funky:

we all ate some food -- including the bride:

here we are together -- if she wasn't married i swear we would ride off into the sunset together -- damn you mr. waits!!!!!

god we are so cute!

it came time for them to cut the cake but they didn't know how so cater waiter had to give them a lesson but apparently it was very confusing:

here's the whole she-bang of cake cutting:

once the cake was cut things got crazy. let's look to rogray for an example shall we?

the prom queen even got impatient and was all "hello, we're married now can we please seal the deal??"

after the guy in between them was like "dude, this lady needs some love" tom waits relented and they suited up for their getaway:

but why are they wearing helmets?

because they rode off into their newlywed bliss on segways!!

amazing!!

after they left i tried to do a series of night shots but spike decided it was going to be his mission to scowl at me in every one:

he did pretty well. also, he may or may not have gotten a little something something with that lovely lady in the first photo. . .

the prom queen returned from her bridal getaway a new woman and invited us all to the hotel bar for some after-party fun:

how could you turn that down?

so we went and guess what was happening at the hotel bar called "the pub" besides 3 other wedding after-parties with some of the most southern, ridiculous people i've ever seen in my life? KARAOKE!!!!

rogray took a moment to think about what he wanted to sing:

he settled on Knockin' on Heaven's Door and he nailed it!

i followed up with Sweet Child o' Mine as a dedication to all the newlyweds there but really only to the prom queen and tom waits. i think i killed it:

um, could my head banging air guitar be any more dynamic? no!

after i threw my back out doing this:

(notice the rock fingers on the lower left of the frame? nice catch rogray!) we had to go home and sleep -- well some of us slept -- spike may or may not have been up all night with a certain unnamed lady in a certain photograph doing certain things that i will not say on this blog.

the next morning we all awoke to sunlight and empty tummies. we needed some brunch at the flying biscuit. except Mr. T -- he was still sick -- he missed the whole party! -- so we left his sorry ass in bed and went to wait in line:

we waited:

and we waited:

and then things got desperate:

but then we were at our table!

and we had food! glorious food like biscuits & gravy! and grits!

and biscuits!

and, oh my god, ricotta pancakes that i still dream about at night (we split them -- we're not gluttons, sheesh.)

and we were so full that we went back to my parents' house and took naps and slept off the food coma and rogray and i made our way back to the airport feeling full, sleepy and blissfully happy for the prom queen and tom waits because they are the loveliest of couples and will have the happiest of marriages.

(there are so many pictures of the weekend that i didn't post here so if you want to see the whole damn set go here.)

Goin' to the Chapel: Segway Edition

2007-05-25T10:56:00.000-04:00

last weekend rogray and i headed down to the ATL in the dirrrrty south for a wedding. the great thing about this wedding (besides wedding being generally awesome) is that many of the guests were my high school people so it was like a reunion but without the dejected former star quarterback and the drug addled cheerleader.

who's wedding? why the prom queen's and tom waits! ok, he's not really tom waits but if you heard him sing you would be all "whoah, he sounds a lot like tom waits."

that's them -- the prom queen is asking him if her really thinks it's funny to joke about bailing on the wedding. you can tell that she's giving him the answer with her eyes.

rogray and i were all sorts of delayed thanks so we rolled up to the rehearsal dinner late with our driver Mr. T & spike:

i don't what rogray is doing in that picture but let's just assume he is enthusiastically thanking them for picking us up at the airport.

after we finished dinner all the young folk headed over to the environmentalists' home which is one of the most amazing places i have ever been. here's the house:

gorgeous right? oh, what's with the eggs you ask? they are from the chickens they keep in their backyard!!

now, you may be wondering why there are no people in the house when i was taking my architectural digest photos. that's because nobody was hanging out in the house. that would be for losers! instead everyone was hanging out here:

but, what is that?

oh, that? that's would be tree houses people!! TREE HOUSES!!!!!!!! it's like the ewok village in their backyard but without the furry midgets. in all my life i have never seen anything like it:

a tree house bedroom? check!

a tree house office? check!

some rope bridges connecting all the tree houses above the woody backyard? check!

a doggy tree house? check check!

rogray decided to forgo the socializing and situate himself in the tree house hammock on the tree house patio:

i bet you people haven't ever seen anything like this either.

le bff, Mr. T, rogray and i were very sleepy so we went home to rest up for the big day. it turns out the big day started out with some of my favorite munchkins in the whole wide world: my godsons!!!!!!! i don't even need to caption this -- just look at the cuteness:

look at this hair!

what are they watching?

pretty in pink!! they are so cool!!

rogray and the d-man promptly made up a game as they often do when they are together which involved them popping up form this chair and screaming things like "octopus party jelly pants!" come to think of it everything they thought of sounded like something that would go on a japanese t-shirt with english on it.

after we said goodbye to the munchkins and got gussied up we made our way to the prom queen's parent's house for the main event. let's take a look at the pre-game:

oh god, that's barely the tip of the picture iceberg. . .let's take a look at the lovely prom queen pre-marriage, shall we?

um, bitch is gorgeous!!!! what i want to know is, what's she whispering to the environmentalist?

meanwhile, rogray ate:

because that's how classy he is.

le bff has something very exciting to tell spike:

spike wants to tell Mr. T but Mr. T was too sick to care:

grandpa prom queen was wondering who i was and why i was there:

the wedding began and le bff and her bro thay-bob were in tom waits party and let's take a quick moment to see how much prettier le bff is than the rest of the groom's group:

now, that's pretty.

here's the beautiful couple right after they kissed:

gorgeous -- best picture ever! i have a real talent.

next up -- the party!

Only In My Dreams. . .

2007-05-23T13:34:00.000-04:00

sleep and i have a very tumultuous relationship: i want it, sometimes it doesn't want to give it me. sometimes i can't fall asleep because too many thoughts are running through my head like "should i shower tomorrow", or "i should recycle more", or "perhaps this pain in my stomach is cancer and not simply constipation. . ."

fascinating.

sometimes i can't sleep because my dreams are too active. other times because i ate one too many thin mints for dessert. i have been known to sing in my sleep and the other day, when i was sick with a sinus infection from hell, i woke up by startling myself out of sleep and promptly slapping myself in the face. i don't even know how or why that happened but it did and it was disturbing.

almost as disturbing as what i dreamt about last night. which was, i can't believe i'm admitting this, surfing the internet. and more specifically, "the blogosphere."

i hate myself.

Hava Nagilah Redux

2007-05-21T15:35:00.000-04:00

last weekend was very special. . .in a sister's doin' it for themselves kind of way.

it was koogs' chuppah party!

friday after work, the indian princess, ceo, and myself loaded up in koogs' car and hot the road to fairfax, va. . .and her parents house.

snacks and my overnight bag:

look at how cute the bride is:

look at how beautiful the sunset is:

look at how unsafe the bride is being while she tries to use her ipod while driving:

when we finally got to koogs' parent's house we were very tired but very ready for a tour...i had never been there before but had heard tell of her mom's leanings in cultural decorating. i was very excited to see this with my own two eyes:

and the requisite southern jewish plaque which made me feel right at home:

the one my parents had was "cha'i y'all." oh the hilarity. . .

nothing could have prepared me for what i saw in koogs' very own room though. not just one of these:

oh, no. . . a whole set from baby to lady:

yessssss. here's what momma koogs had to say about these delightful porcelain figurines:

"And Sara's dolls... Did she tell you how Larry's Mom (aka Grandma) used to buy her one every year. Then one time Sara knocked them over and there were body parts all about. Looked like a bus accident (gruesome, but true). My mother meticulously glued little pieces back together. But #10 never quite recovered..."

the next morning ms. n arrived very sleepy from the wedding she had attended the night before and her 4am wake-up call to get on the plane to come meet us. we put our faces on and hung out a bit before we had to leave to go to the main event. hang out in koogs family speak is a bit different from most because it means harmonizing sing-along:

oh yes. they are singing. . .wait for it. . .the crosby, stills & nash masterpiece "teach your children." look at the joy on their faces!

once they wrapped that up we finished getting ready and snapped pictures of us being pretty:

we got to koogs' aunt's house and were greeted by all the ladies of her life. aunts, family friends, cousins, future in-laws and the one man allowed: her soon-to-be nephew:

after a short round of eating we got down to the business of presenting our chuppah squares. inevitably the second someone sat down next to koogs they started crying as they shared what had inspired them to make what they did and that lead to koogs crying which led to ms. n sobbing -- weddings make her cry. a lot.

it was a pretty amazing day. . .and not just because of the ice cream cupcakes her cousin made:

here are a few of the many chuppah squares that were made lovingly for koogs and the hulk.

the cutie's:

momma koogs':

the future niece's:

the ceo's:

please notice the indigo girls' lyric. . .

the indian princess':

erykah badu lyrics to honor the mutual love of hip-hop.

koogs' family friend. . .we hate/love her for this because it's so amazing:

mine!

it's like a family tree but with my idea of a cherry blossom. i wrote the names of koogs' and the hulk's grandparents, parents and siblings with an extra un-named one. . .for the baby.

the crafty bitches (i say that with love and envy) both sent in cryptic ones that we all had to figure out together. all we knew was that the first two letters stood for "that's your."

That's Your Chuppah Square Wishing You A Happy Marriage.

That's Your Marriage That Will Last A Lifetime.

ms. n's:

an ode to brooklyn and koogs and the hulk's love of hip-hop -- their names written in graffitti style script. whatever. i could of done that too if i felt like it.

we ended the day by taking pictures of the young'uns:

and the legends:

and all of us together:

needless to say we had a lot to re-hash in the car on the drive home. it was one of those days where you realize how lucky you are. as koogs put it "everyone should have a day where they here how much they are loved."

and she's right.

next post about koogs' wedding? the bachelorette party.