cry me a river

i am one of those weird people who, at almost 30, doesn't need glasses. some people get really up in arms about this because they are bitter that they have been wearing glasses since they were, like, 2.

every now and again i think about how cool it would beto have glasses -- another accessory! all of those snooty gestures i could use to better make my points in conversation! looking smarter! and older! i could use that last one because just this weekend a waitress thought i had just graduated from college -- at least i'm not getting carded anymore.

last month rogray and i were in atlanta visiting momgo & dadgo, celebrating passover, and planning the wedding. . .yay! we all had some time to kill so we popped into a cookware shop for funzies.

momgo immediately set about buying everything she could get her hands on and i looked at the knives. dadgo and rogray looked at other bits and pieces of cooking gadgets and discovered some onion glasses. rogray decided that we should get them because whenever i cut an onion i have to leave the kitchen at least 10 times because my eyes are gushing rivers.

at first i was all "another gadget that is creating a market where there wasn't one before" but that quickly turned into "a surprise present? i'll take it!! and glasses no less!"

last night we took them for a test run.

here i am ready to start the experiment:



aaaaaand action!:



well? well? WELLLLLLLL?

did it work? could i cut half an onion without turning into a blubbering mess? did these magic glasses somehow make me a mean chopping machine?



YESSSSSS! see? i do need glasses.

Whatcha Got Cookin: Like a Bat Out of Hell edition*

as some of you may know i've been attempting to go low-dairy and wheat free in my diet. so far so good -- i don't know if i feel any different but i have become much more aware of what i'm eating which can't be a bad thing.

since i'm trying to kick up my protein intake i decided to make a turkey meatloaf thinking that i would have plenty of leftovers to enjoy. i found a recipe from ina garten and set out to make my very first meatloaf.

everything was going great. my organic freshly ground turkey meat was thawed and ready to go. the onions were chopped and i had wiped away the subsequent tears and made the thyme-onion-worcestershire mixture. now it was time to beat a couple eggs into submission and mix it all together. but look what happened when i cracked the first egg into the bowl:



whaaaaaaaaat thehellisthat??

oh -- it's just two yolks in one egg -- you know -- the usual. i stared at the twins inside my bowl and thought to myself "great. now what? the recipe calls for three eggs not a freakish 4 yolk, 3 egg mixture." so what did any self-respecting 28 year old do?

i called my mom.

oh, she laughed and laughed and thought it was so silly i was calling but then agreed that yes, this was very weird and perhaps i should start with 2 eggs and if the mixture seems dry then put in a 3rd.

sounded good to me so as we chatted about other things i cracked the second egg into the bowl and HOLY CRAPBALLS!!!



the second egg ALSO had two yolks!!!!!! what are the odds? WHAT ARE THE ODDS? it took all the willpower in the world and rogray hiding the eggs from me to keep me from craking open every egg in the carton to find out if the whole dozen was a batch of freak show eggs. leave it to the organic farm in good ole' PA that distributes their eggs to the park slope food co-op to have bizarre twin eggs.

anyway, after recovering from the wacky world of the egg prep i soldiered on and finally was ready to mold the meat mixture into a rectangular loaf shape. what i never knew is how gross ground meat mixed with other things looks as you shape it into a loaf and then spread ketchup on it.

have any of you made a meatloaf? it looks like roadkill. the following is my experience with this hot meatloaf action, photographs by rogray:







and lastly:



so, wondering how something that looked like that was going to taste like something i would want to eat, i put it in the oven with a pan of hot water underneath so the top wouldn't crack and cleaned our apartment for the 1.5 hours it took for this dead monster to cook.

it came out looking like this:



it looked much more appetizing on the plate especially with a salad and alexia sweet potato fries:



yes, i know that's a crappy picture. . .

and now, the tasting:




and you know what? i realized something -- i don't really like meatloaf. i want to like. i try to like it. but i don't like it. so there you have it. after all of that i came to terms with my dislike of meatloaf.

but rogray found my 2 egg, 4 yolk roadkill meatloaf to be pretty tasty and that is why i keep him around.

*get it? meat loaf! i slay me.

WGC? #26

this was last night's dinner which we ate while watching the west wing because i can't stop myself. . .i'm beginning to wonder what i'm going to do when season 4 is over. np more sorkin episodes. i can't bring myself to watch it get crappy and i can't bring myself to watch studio 60 -- my life is a mess.

anyway...

this was pork tenderloin in a plum, red wine sauce and a salad with dijon, shallot balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

at one point rogray asked me to come into the kitchen which was weird because usually he likes me to stay as far away from him and his kitchen while he's in it lest i distract him with my feminine wiles and unrelenting wit...i thought maybe he needed a quick smooch at the half-way mark but no -- he wanted me to taste the sauce -- which had somehow ended up on 3 walls, our ceiling and in the cat's fur...and what affirming, confidence boosting thing did i say to him in his hour of need?

"it kind of tastes like cough syrup."

i am horrible.

but! in the end! it did not taste like cough syrup! nay! it tasted like warm, velvety plummy goodness on top of the moist tenderloin (which rogray thought he had over cooked but had, in fact, cooked perfectly) and the vinaigrette was a nice little nip to complement the smoothness of the plum sauce.

wednesday i'll post #27 -- and thursday? you'll just have to wait and see. . .

WGC? #25

saturday night we went over to rogray's sister's and hung out with her and the twins and their friend. they ate some buttered noodles, turkey meatballs and corn while we ate:



fusilli with fresh pesto, tomatoes & feta.

sort of like a warm pasta salad -- it was really tasty and the pesto had that perfect balance of garlic-y bite and crisp basil flavor.

the part of the meal that was most exciting to me though is what happened when rogray was reminded that his brother-in-law was allergic to nuts so the pesto was a no-go.

1st rule of thumb about cooking for others: know their allergies! second rule of thumb: be able to improvise!

and so rogray improvised.

and he made an olive oil, garlic and caper sauce for the allergic!

amazing flexibility -- truly calm and collected chef-ing...rogray thinks on his feet and achieves smashing results!

the night ended with much eating of ice cream and full, happy bellies. . .

WGC? #22, #23, AND #24

oh my god!!! three for the price of one?? are you trying to kill us? make us extra hungry? or annoy the crap out of us with all these "rogray cooked this" posts?

i'm just trying to document the transformation people -- so here we go.

#22: asian chicken with mushrooms and green beans.



rogray had been struggling with cooking brown rice but he nailed it for this dish -- which was flavorful and wonderfully soy-saucey. he used shitake mushrooms which i now realize are the mushrooms i don't really like. am i alone on this? they're so slippery and squishy. . .me no likey.

but we're not here to discuss my issues with shitake mushrooms -- we're here to discuss rogray's cooking -- so let's move on.

#23: HOLY BALLS!!! is that eggs sort-of benedict?



why, yes. . .yes it is. i say sort-of because he used avocado instead of ham because that's the way i like it. . .even my plate is smiling in delighted shock at how yummy this looks:



and what is that i see in the hollandaise sauce? is that dill? you made a dill hollandaise to coat those perfectly poached oeufs??

oui oui -- he did! he was debating between 2 recipes for the sauce and decided to take the elements he liked from one and toss it into the other! my man's a genius.

rogray admitted this wasn't hard to do (the poaching and so on) but to know that i don't need to spend $12 for a plate of this makes me so giddy.

i was proud of rogray and he was proud of himself -- he was so excited by the success of this and now he has decided that brunch may be his favorite meal. i am looking forward to a long life of pancakes, french toast, and a plethora of egg dishes.

back off bitches -- he's mine.

and last (not least) #24: tilapia with cumin, tomatoes and bread crumbs with some yummy rice business and perfectly cooked asparagus.



this was from the moosewood and it was quite tasty -- and rogray aced the asparagus -- cooked to that perfect tender-crisp place.

we're getting close to the end and i am getting really excited for what's next.

rogray is doing brunch on sunday and he said he wants to make more mario batali recipes -- i've created a monster. . .the perfect monster.

WGC #21

some people are "concerned" that this blog is too focused on rogray's whatcha' got cookin' challenge...and by some i mean jk and my momz. well don't worry -- it will all soon come to an end and then you will wake up one morning, come to this blog and be surprised at the sense of loss that fills you and as steam from your morning cup of coffee wafts around you, you will delicately ponder out loud "i wonder what rogray has been cooking lately?" and then you will see that it's true what joni mitchell says: you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

kugs couldn't hang out with us monday night so ms. n and i dressed rogray up in girls clothing so we could pretend it was our usual hang and he cooked us this:



spaghetti with beef and mushrooms in a cream sauce. solid, good weeknight meal although rogray might disagree because he was annoyed at how long it took him to chop up a pound of mushrooms.

in the interest of full disclosure: we did break one rule on this one in that we altered the recipe -- we used fat free half-and-half instead of heavy cream -- also we ran out of pepper so it was under-peppered -- but the cream substitution made no difference to me.

if we were to make it again i would use ground turkey meat instead of beef because it's not worth my 1-2 servings of red meat a month thing. (also in full disclosure: do you know how hard it is to only eat red meat 1-2 times a month? that shit is good!)

here is nicole excited to dig in:



and now she takes a taste...with caution:



a moment of indecision: is this tasty or not?



and finally -- this is so good you better not come near my bowl!



because rogray is one of those skinny people with a bottomless pit for a stomach he ended his meal with a snack of cashew butter and crackers -- which he went crazy for:



literally:



this weekend rogray is going to attempt eggs benedict -- a dish i am not insane enough to try -- it is highly possible that i will be writing about how rogray has gone mad and is covered in egg chanting something about poaching. . .

WGC #20

and he's back folks. wgc #19 was a rough spot but he picked himself up off the ground, wiped the dust off his ass, did some calisthenics, lifted some weights, showered and got back in the kitchen...with a vengeance. mario batali style.



this is pork with sweet garlic and fennel aka Arista con Aglio e Finocchio...bitches.

first off -- i'd like to compliment rogray for picking something other than chicken to prepare -- i thought he might go to his safety zone but no -- he chose pig. and he doesn't even really like pork -- but this time he did... and why this time? because this time the pork was juicy, moist, and flavorful. this time the pork was smothered in plump, sweet, soft cloves of garlic that easily spread over the loin filling my palette with a sweet bite of flavor. and this time there was thinly sliced sauteed fennel bulb and a dash of fennel seeds to add a slight sharp punch to the whole thing.

this, people, this was the way to kick off the final 10.

wgc #19

numero 19!! stuffed pepers with a feta cheese sauce (not pictured).

oh me oh my the stuffing in these babies was so so yummy in my tummy -- it was some brown rice, pine nut, garlic deliciousness. the sauce needed somthing else -- we couldn't decide what though -- and it needed a little less flour because it was leaning on the thick side but oh that stuffing. . .

thank you moosewood.

wgc #18

rogray made linguine with crab meat and radicchio in a garlic, white wine sauce last night.

this was the first recipe where i felt like rogray made some mistakes. there was too much red pepper flakes in it as well as too much oil and he didn't let the white wine cook off enough -- and he under-shalloted -- the recipe called for 3 but he only used 2.

in his defense -- i think this is the most delicate thing he has attempted and this is the first time that rogray has messed up. . .so i would like him to make this again. because i think the mistakes are easily fixed and i like crab, radicchio and
pasta.

but i don't know if i can convince rogray of that because a couple bites into it he sad "i don't know if i like crab." whaaaaat? who are you? how can you like lobster but not crab? that's crazy. especially crab in pasta with oil, garlic and shallots.

he's a crazy man.

tonight #19!

i'm trying to convince him that he should do the last 5 back to back but he's not convinced -- maybe if you guys start pestering him he'll relent!!

happy birthday to you (& wgc #17)

last week mamago and dadgo drove up from my hometown and came to my fair borough to deliver a free coffee table and all my books and various other belongings to finally extricate their 28 year-old's belongings from their storage unit. if it wasn't so nice of them to do that and they weren't giving us a coffee table i'd be offended.

it also happened to be dadgo's birthday and we took it as an opportunity for my parents to meet rogray's mom, stepdad, sister, and the twins -- no, there are no pictures, and yes, it was lovely and a love-fest and his family loves me and my family loves him and and the families loves each other andpedro and gracie love elmo and blue's clues. so it went quite well and i was too sick to be nervous or pay attention to what was going on -- which was probably a good thing.


anyway, the first night we went to applewood -- a real live restaurant with a real live fireplace but no real live girls. . .it's a classy joint. this place is the real deal. . .go forth and eat. take your special lady friend out for a nice meal. make your parents take you there when they are in town. expense it.

each plate is beautiful and fragrant but each picture i took of our plates looked horrible so you'll just have to trust me on this one. for our appetizers i had salt cod brandade and rogray had parsnip soup. entrees: i had the loin of lamb in a fennel soup, dadgo had skate (the chef made it special for him! none of that pesky dairy) and rogray had duck with bacon dressing and soft polenta -- rogray was excited because duck and bacon are two of his favorite things and he never thought he's get to have them at the same time.mamgo got the venison -- it was good but not as good as the rest of ours -- she suffered from some intense entree envy.

at the end of the meal our plates looked like this:


we each joined the clean plate club that night!

when it was time for dessert (olive oil cake with fennel ice cream!) they had overheard that it was dadgo's birthday and they new that he was a no-dairy guy so they made him a plate with pears and pomegranate seeds with a candle for a birthday
cake! the place was pure class.



the next day while rogray and i toiled away at work and challenged each other to drink as much water as possible since the illness was beginning to situateitself into my nasal passages and chest -- mamago and dadgo went to ellis island. they said it was lovely and interesting and now i want to go.

we came home from our long day of drinking water and peeing every 5 minutes it was time to celebrate dadgo's actual birthday! we kicked off the night with a champagne toast and a kim-chi appetizer:



and rogray made dish #17. mongolian beef!!! dadgo said he wanted rogray to make him dinner and we had just gotten the 30 year old recipe for mongolian beef that he used to make back in the day from our long island people (the recipe card is actually 30 years old) so rogray decided that is what we should make as a surprise for dadgo. and he loved it. he was touched in the heart and full in the belly:



for cake we had no pudge brownies and ciao bella blood orange sorbet. this is my dad taking a moment to contemplate the joys and mysteries of life, a moment to contemplate how far he has come and what hewanted for the future:



and then he thought he might get burned with all the fire on that cake so he ended the moment:



saturday after brunch with rogray's family we went to long island to hang with the jews there. . .aka the klein family. marty and adrienne (i can't even try to come up with nicknames for them) are the ones who gave us the mongolian beef recipe which they had because they used to live in my parents' basement when i was a baby and were basically my second set of parents. my second set that always knew that i wanted a cookie when i would toddle into their basement kitchen and say in my sing-songy way "i want something." we went to sushi. the only pictures i have are ones rogray took of me and my mom -- i would say they pretty much sum up the entire mother daughter relationship and dynamic:



sunday, dadgo picked up 3 dozen bagels (that's not an exaggeration and usually he has me fed-ex the bagels to him) from his fave brooklyn bagel shop and drove the entire way home in one 13 hour day.

mamago took kugs, the hulk, rogray and myself to this yummy spot for dinner sunday night and then left first thing monday at which point the illness consumed my body.

it was a great trip and we had a lot of fun and i hope that dadgo had a great birthday. happy birthday you old coot!! i love you.

WGC? #15 (half-way there) & #16!

people. . .we are at the half-way point. and what a half-way point it is.

both of these are form the dreaded rachael ray (rogray has decided that she's not so great and since her meals certainly don't take a mere 30 minutes to make then it's probably not worth it but these were actually pretty good.)

#15!!:



israeli chicken with a tomato salad and a zucchini-mint salad with pita.

holgray (rogray's sister) loves this dish and i have to say -- it's quite good -- i imagine if you throw some hummus onto that pita and make a sandwich with all that stuff and you have aslammin' sandwich.

the chicken was a bit on the spicy - i think rogray got worried that it would be bland so he kicked it up one too many notches. . .but still, it worked for me.

so this was the half-way mark. . .and due to the fact that the only thing rogray had with him at the store was the rachael ray cookbook, #16 comes out of there as well. but i think she's about to be put on serious hiatus. especially since my parents just got him this cookbook. . .i can't wait to kick it veggie for awhile.

without further ado, #16:



winter vegetable stew with potato-gruyere pancakes.

this was yummy too -- but i think it was yummy because rogray had a feeling it might be a bit bland according to the recipe so he threw in some extra veggies and spices and i have a feeling that kept it from being boring. . .and also, you just can't go wrong with a potato-gruyere pancake. i mean that's a no-brainer.

i am very excited to write about tonight's meal, dadgo's birthday dinner and WGC #17. not only is it impressive but it's going to be a sweet, sweet surprise.