deck the halls! (w/ wgc #14!)

last saturday was our 2nd annual holiday ArtJam!: Brooklyn edition. what's an ArtJam!? i'm so glad you asked. . .it was created with jk in l.a. last year. you share arts and crafts supplies and just make things until you can't anymore. usually it would be just jk, rogray and me making collages and the like but the holiday version is open to all. we supply food, drink and supplies and in return people make ornaments for our tree. we then keep our favorite ornaments for the next year and hopefully in a few years we will have a tree full of ornaments that have all been made by our friends.

here are the top ones from last year:



the first two are from the dude. the red one is his portrait of rogray. the last one is jk's panda ornament. for some reason my picture of the virgin mary and hassidic jew ornaments made from last year didn't get on the old flickr page. but you can imagine.

we threw some logs on the old "fireplace":


whipped up some latkes, pigs in a blanket, spinach artichoke dip and rogray's pine nut and gingerbread cookies:

and herbed potato chips: .

both went over grand -- he'd never made cookies before and they were deelish. i think i'm forgetting how to cook.

here is a collection of photos of people making crafts. look at the joy on their faces. basically people came in and either made a beeline for the food table or one of the craft tables.



the chef brought cupcakes and various toppings for people to make edible crafts! here she is:


people with their cupcake masterpieces:


here is mr. mo shoving an entire cupcake into his mouth:


his wife was very proud.

here are people being silly:

lawyer gets fresh with rogray:


this is as crazy as the hulk gets:


the critic acts smarmy:


this is me at my tipsiest (read: drunk oblivious to the hangover that will inhabit every aspect of being the next day):


do i look like bugs bunny there? i feel like i do. . .

c-dog and i get serious and do a p.s.a:

don't do drugs kids!

doesn't our hair look really good there?

enough of this. here are the ornaments!

here is the top of the tree. i call it "the father, son and the holy spirit."


a fashionable crucifiction:


koogs':


the hulk's 3 wise men:


a gentlre reminder for the holiday season from mateo:


mr. f's hidden talent comes out:


a heart exploding with ArtJam! joy:


c-dog models her ornament:


ms. mo made a collage that will forever live on our refrigerator. look how amazing it is:

it doesn't even look like a collage! it looks like a picture out of a magazine.

rogray and i made dreidels out of clay!

i went classic on the right while rogray went stylishly artistic on the left.

in the end our craft table looked like this:


and our tree looked like this!




there are so many more ornaments that i didn't take pictures of yet. i think it's safe to say that the party was a success. the food was eaten we ended up having more liquor than what we started with (thanks guys. how'd you know all i wanted was wine and whiskey? you're geniuses.) rogray and i didn't even have that much clean-up. merry happy chrismukkah everyone!

meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow

*

so this is our cat: harper. for some reason when miss n met her she called her parnell and it somehow ended up sticking as a middle name as did petunia, koogs' addition. she looks innocent enough but beware. . .this bitch has claws and she's not afraid to use them. por ejemplo:

when rogray and i were making plans to move across the country back to nyc we were trying to figure out how to transport harper -- at first the plan involved driving with her across the country, sneaking her into hotel rooms and putting ice packs in her carrier so she wouldn't overheat -- we decided that was too difficult and were about to choose the more expensive option of having rogray fly back with her the weekend before we left and deposit her at koogs' (her second mommy, really) and then rogray would fly back to drive with me. crazy? yes, but it seemed to to make sense at the time. then mateo told me he was coming to l.a. for work the week before we left and valiantly agreed to fly back with harper and take her to koogs' himself.

the day arrives and amidst many warnings of her reputation as a crazy, homicidal, killer feline, mateo assures me all will be well, that he "loves cats and not to worry." so i pump her up full of kitty tranquilizers and send her to the airport with an idealistic mateo at the wheel of his snazzy rental car. if only he had heeded my stern warnings.

since mateo was not landing in nyc until midnight and koogs teaches the future of america he had to keep harper with him until the next day when he could take her over at a more reasonable hour. so around the time that harper should have been snuggling into her old friend's lap i gave a call to see how things were going. that is when i found out from koogs that things were not going well and i should call mateo. i do and it's awful. not only can i hear her meowing and growling in the background but i can here a broken spirit in mateo's voice. he sounds like he has been through a battle between good and evil and evil is winning. i tell him to steady himself, throw a blanket over her and shove her into her carrier no matter what. he says he's tried it and i say do it again -- i tell him how there have been times when i've had to straddle her and pin her down to clip her claws or grab her by the tail to get her into the carrier and that she won't get hurt and that she can't actually murder him -- she just sounds like she can.

we hang up and i wait. a few minutes pass and he calls and sounds worse than he did before. at this point harper parnell petunia is hiding under a table in his living room snarling at him like what'sherface in the exorcist. i call koogs and ask her to go over there for back-up. she kindly agrees and goes over with her head held high and optimistic that she possesses the magic touch to calm harper and get her to willingly walk into her carrier.

cut to something like an hour and 30 minutes later (!!!!) and i still haven't heard from either of them so i call and now koogs sounds like she has been broken by this 5 pound ball of fur. apparently they have spent the last hour with harper in the closet, koogs sitting outside of it meditating only to have harper come out and allow koogs to pet her while simultaneously growling at her. and now harper is huddled in a corner and koogs can't get near her and neither can mateo.

at this point harper has been freaking out for something like 4 hours and mateo has been on the brink of an opera style meltdown for at least 3 of those and koogs has joined him in half that time and i am feeling horrible that this has taken such a disastrous turn. so i finally tell them to just grab her, stick her in the carrier, put the carrier on it's end so she can't run out, zip it shut and be done with it. i tell them that they can do this. that no matter what sound she makes she is not actually hurt -- she's just putting on a show. i tell them that rob suggests getting her into the bathroom so she has nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide. (sorry about that musical interlude, it was unavoidable)

somehow mateo rallies and gets her in her carrier in under 5 minutes.

all of this is to say that our cat may be small, she may have the cutest white paws and little nose, but she is a beast that can bring an adult woman who is in charge of 25 8 year-olds every day and an adult man who directs entire plays to their knees. she is a beast.

of course, she's never treated me that way. . .

*photo courtesy miss n's camera phone.

When I Paint My Masterpiece

rogray and i have been in the midst of trying to get our apartment (aka our shit) together. it's a big space by our standards(not to brag but more to make you wonder if your space would be considered bi and therefor make you feel ever so slightly insecure about your own home -- don't feel too bad -- our bathroom sink is missing a leg and the shower drain is clogged so we're not perfect) so we don't want to overfill it but we don't want to leave it empty either.

basically all that is to say that i spend hours on craigslist trying to find us a coffee table, shelves and the like. thanks to all my research on craigslist rogray was able to buy us a bookcase for $15 -- the trick being it was unfinished wood. so one trip to home depot and $54 later i was ready to do my first official home project: paint a bookcase. unfortunately i have no pictures of what it looked like before but i do have pictures of the transformation.

this is me in the act:


notice the use of painter's tape for the delicate edging. take a closer look at the way i grasp the brush to exert maximum control yet have fluidity in my painting style.



no shelves-- an example of minimalism and function -- the function being that this was the 3rd and final coat of paint and dry dammit!!! DRY!!

the shelves:



at that angle it looks like my floor is really slanted. . .it's not.

and finally the finished product:


take your time. deeply inhale and relish the simplicity, the beauty, form and function mingling together. . .a true piece of art.

ok. not really but i am proud of it. i used primer! i used one can of paint called egyptian nile and another called cottage white because i wanted contrast! an assortment of paint supplies were used including mini rollers and small paintbrushes! i arranged the books with thought and then embellished with chotchkes!

is this the same humble beginning from which martha began?

movin' on up

rogray and i have been living in a state of perpetual motion for about 14 months now: august 2005 we moved to l.a., moved from sublet 1 into sublet 2 after 6 weeks, moved from sublet 2 to a house-sit after 7 months (not too shabby) and then moved from house-sit to sublet 3* after another 6 weeks only to leave sublet 3 and head back to nyc after another almost 2 months. after our 10 day road trip we crashed at mo & tweak's place for a week and have since moved into our apartment with the help of these guys:



the lumberjack is on the right and c-squared is on the left. c-squared has helped rogray with every one of his moves since college and his generosity extended to me when he came and helped me move my crap into storage with my parents for the big l.a. move -- he's like mother theresa.

we've spent the last 2 weeks turning this:



into this:



unlike noah who reveals pictures of his place when it's all done and looking gorgeous (and clearly his wife is crafty (and i mean that in a making pillows kind of way not a "she's conniving" kind of way even though i've never met her so maybe she is conniving but i doubt it) which i admire because I can't even safety pin my jeans to be even) i like to reveal pictures of my place in a state of not done-ness.

so, as you can see, we need more shelving and we desperately need art on the walls and for my books to get here but the art and the books are in atl with my parents so thatÂ’s going to have to wait. but now it's a livable space and we can have people over for meals and things. and the sparseness doesn't change the love we feel for our cheap, big 1 bedroom in an elevator building with laundry on the 1st floor with heat, water and gas included -- and i'm not going to tell you where we live because i don't want the secret getting out.

now, you may be thinking "how did shaygo and rogray survive all that moving as individuals much less as a couple?" and that is a very good question. and i am not sure i know the answer but i do know there were some breakdowns along the way. let me just say that the fact that rogray can stand to look at me much less claim to still love me proves that I am very lucky and that he is a glutton for punishment.

pretty much the breakdowns in l.a. are a distant memory but for the last: a full-on meltdown while packing the car in broad daylight -- and i mean crying. audibly. while rearranging the trunk. because that's how i roll.

we were doing quite well until we were in the unpacking phase and i freaked out because it "seemed" like there had been no progress made despite the multiple trips to ikea, target and bed, bath, & beyond and the kitchen looking like this:



but now all i feel is relief to be living in our own place with our own stuff and the knowledge that we don't have to move unless we want to -- which we never will because the whole process is exhausting.

*speaking of sublet 3 -- this is the one we are waiting on the deposit from and we decided last night were taking the ho to small claims court because rogray did some creative googling and discovered that she's a scam artist. She posted her place for sublet on craigslist a few days before we were leaving and 4 hours after her post someone posted a beware saying that she's nice in the beginning to gain your trust and then disappears on you and doesn't return your deposit. all i'm saying is: it's fucking on...to be continued.