You never been on a ride like this befo'

i will say this about pakistan: they sure know how to decorate. . .

via kottke

i get it

i have yet to fully understand this whole sub-prime mortgage meltdown business. mostly because it involves things like numbers. and people in suits. doing things with numbers. while using acronyms and calculating numbers while they where their suits. with blackberries. and numbers. (should that be blackberrys? blackberry's? i kind of like pluralizing it the fruit way.)

and because the way you have to explain it is b.o.r.i.n.g.

until now!!

thanks to this handy dandy slide presentation you will understand it while simultaneously avoiding the boredom associated with dudes in suits talking about numbers and acronyms holding their blackberries and looking douchey!

via consumerist, my favorite pro-consumer site on the internets!

dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaam, dream dream dream dream

you know your life is getting boring when the only two dreams you remember are the following:

1: getting sick

2: talking to rogray about the grocery list and going to the gym.

eat it, just eat it

last night for the first time in ages we had shake n' bake for dinner because it is rogray's favorite.

in fact , he liked it so much that he ate 3 entire chicken legs (i'm talking thigh & leg people), 1/2 box of mac n' cheese, and 1/2 lb of green beans.

why he wasn't farting his life away is beyond me.

it makes me smile

i've been killing time at work by looking at pictures of rogray's and my cross-country drive from a few summers ago and came across one of my favorite pictures of the two of us at the grand canyon:



i know the grand canyon isn't even in it. . .but the where isn't why i like it. it's the how.

i like how rogray looks normal and happy but i look like i am simply up to no good.

i have no idea what i was thinking but it must have been something sneaky.

PSYYYYYYYCH!!!!

what are you?

crazy?

i didn't get no stinkin' tattoo!!! i'm the biggest wimp there is. . .but i had you going right? the whole thing was meant to be a practical joke on momgo & dadgo. . .because i know they would hate it if i got a tattoo.

in fact, they hate is so much that they were debating whether or not they could carry out the age old technique of disowning a child. i think they may have consulted a lawyer and everything.

seriously -- they were suuuuuper pissed -- so pissed that they couldn't even find the joke funny. hopefully in 10 years this will all be water under the bridge and then we can be like "remember that time shaygo said that she got a tattoo and did that insanley realistic post about it on her blog and dadgo had an aneurysm because of it and momgo had shaygo written out of the will? remember how HILARIOUS it was when it turned out that she was only joking and was doing a very early april fool's joke and the tattoo ended up being henna that she had done at a friend's baby shower? oh, man. . .that was a real roller coaster of hilarity!"

yeah, that's definitely going to happen. . .sorry momgo & dadgo. . .heh heh. . .is it funny now?

how 'bout now?

well let's get to the pics of the baby shower i went to so we can deflect some of the focus onto someone who's 8 months preggers and ready to explode, ok?

rogray's friend, homeslice, and his wife are expecting baby #2 and she was kind enough to invite me and the miracle worker to her baby shower. . .aka blessingway.

we had to bring some family artifact and explain why it was important to us:



next to the mortar and pestle you'll see a small, square black and white photo of a little girl with her mouth open like she's about to eat the camera. that's momgo when she was but a wee lass and it's my all time favorite picture of her. . .why? well, she's super cute in it, she looks like me (therefor i am super cuter) and it's the only picture i've ever seen of her as a child where she is actually being herself. . .it's amazing.

then we had to bring beads and string them together so she would have something to hold onto or look at while she squeezing the kid out:



i don't know from beads so i brought two antique buttons because what's more synonymous with motherhood then buttons? nothing, that's what. you always have to button, unbutton, zip, unzip -- i mean kids are reeeeally needy.

look at this lady -- she's ready to have a baby:



while she got her belly henna-ed her sister gave her feet a soak:



um, being preggers is awesome! it's like being at the spa am i right ladies?

look at the finished product:



amazing -- all free hand. . .so i got inspired and decided to get me some henna:



i really like it -- and would love to have a celebratory henna again. . .but a real tattoo? not really my thing. . .so no worries momgo & dadgo. . .i won't be getting any tattoos. . .but maybe i'll get pregnant just so i can have my friends come over and bathe my feet.

on my heart liks a tattoo

i didn't plan on doing this. in fact, it was never something i was interested in at all. i understood why others might want to invest in such a thing and i would be lying if my mind didn't occasionally drift over the idea. but i don't even have my ears pierced so it seemed a bit out of the realm of possibility.

but when i found myself sitting in the chair with my left arm draped across the armrest and the buzz of the needle in my ears it felt like the exact right thing to do:



so i did it. i got a tatto! i went with a friend to accompany her while she got hers and just got inspired. the guy was so patient and great and he made me feel really at ease.



i know it's pretty girly -- i kind of let the artist do what he wanted -- we both agreed a light color would be better with my skin tone and i definitely wanted to keep it subtle.

i'm trying to be bad-ass here but it's practically a damn flower. . .



rogray was definitely shocked but i think it's growing on him. did it hurt? hellz to the yesh but i think it was worth it.

i mean, look how happy i am:



maybe i'll get me some sleeves. . .ok, probably not. . .but i always thought the nape of the neck was a good spot for a tat.

dance dance dance dance

a few weeks ago ms. n sent out an invitation for a fete she and her boyfriend, the rockstar, were hosting. they wanted to do something nice and classy for their friends. i'm not classy but i am her friend so i went.

for some reason koogs and i got reeeeeeally into the whole classy aspect and decided to meet up early, get dressed and put on make-up together and basically act like we were going to prom. . .or the grammys. . .we couldn't really tell. all we knew was that we cared so much about it that we actually discussed what we should do for our make-up and hair. seriously. as if we knew much outside of the same thing we do every day with our hair and our faces. koogs tried cat-eye and i went smoky. . .

and, truth be told, i'm not sure it mattered what we looked like because ms. n's parties always end in a massive, sweaty dance party so in reality we probably should have just worn tank tops and put our hair in ponytails.

also, no matter what we did, ms. n out-classed us all:



yeah. . .that's a feather in her hair. . .i mean come on! CLASSY!!

rogray?



not quite as classy. . .but he sure did like that pizza.

the whole night ms. n kept whipping up these amazing cocktails. i'm not entirely sure i remember what they were or what was in them but do remember that just when i thought my glass was empty it was somehow magically refilled.

the c.e.o. put it best:




once koogs got a hold of the ipod the party looked like this:



and this:



(that's the back of my head and doesn't my hair look fabulous? see, it's worth it to discuss hair and make-up before hand.)

then it looked like this:



koogs got seriously into the song and looked like this:



and finally it looked like this:



what you don't see is a picture of me doing the humpety-hump with some dude while rogray sat on the couch eating cookies and drinking a martini. . .because apparently when i get on the dance floor i loose all sense of propriety and become a crazy person.

rogray and i had to leave on the early side because we had to wake up very early to go take a hebrew in a day class (you read that right) and let's just say that it was a rough, rough morning with lots of groaning and "whyyyyy? why did i do thaaaaat?" followed by some serious advil, tea, and seltzer. koogs and the c.e.o. left around 2am and said that you could hear the music about a block away. i can't remember the last time i went to a house party that was as classy and fun as that one. . .oh wait, ms.n's new year's eve party last year. . .

that ms. n sure knows how to treat her friends right.

you can wackle while i walk away

this has got to be some kind of prank right? i mean, they can't possibly be serious, right?

are you ready for some footbaaaaaaaall?

i have never been a fan of football. . .or sports in general. to be honest, i generally think it's a giant (get it?) waste of time. except going to baseball games -- baseball goes at the right speed for me and there are peanuts, hot dogs and beer involved. and i kind of understand it.




football -- that's just a bunch of giants running into each other hard. who f-ing cares?




over thanksgiving we were obliged to watch some college football games because rogray's stepdad is obsessed with the game:





there was one game that i did start to get into -- kansas? against. . .someone else?



it was exciting because kansas was the underdog and they fought really hard. i mean, they still lost but they tried and it was exciting to watch them try that hard. but i kind of only cared because rogray's stepdad cared and i was too stuffed and sleepy to motivate myself to go do something more productive like read a book or nap.




so imagine my surprise when i turned into a crazy football fan. we're talking jumping to my feet, screaming at the tv, covering my eyes and trash talking crazy.



the last 2 minutes of that game were insane!!!! when manning who, by the way, is engaged to his college girlfriend and lives in hoboken, kept fighting and pushing we knew that it would be exciting. when brady who, by the way left his pregnant baby mama for a supermodel and has an air of general douchiness around him, kept getting sacked i knew this game was turning awesome.



because the pats may have played an almost-perfect season but nothing is more gratifying than the underdog fighting hard and taking down the team that walks around the field like they deserve it -- like their opponent should just step aside and the rings should magically appear on their hands.



the giants had to prove that they deserved it. they had to stay calm, refuse to give up and do crazy things like clutch the ball to the top of their helmet so they could stay in posession and make the patriots eat all of their entitled, machismo bullshit. they were david taking goliath down.



i don't know if i will ever watch football again -- and i don't know if i will ever feel an allegiance to any one team -- but i know that last night, for one superbowl, i was a sports fan and it was awesome.

walkin' in a winter wonderland

for the first time this year it is actually snowing in new york city right now. . .i don't think it will stick because it's too warm but since this past january was the first one in 75 years without snow it's nice to see the stuff.