Monday, May 19, 2008

cry me a river

i am one of those weird people who, at almost 30, doesn't need glasses. some people get really up in arms about this because they are bitter that they have been wearing glasses since they were, like, 2.

every now and again i think about how cool it would beto have glasses -- another accessory! all of those snooty gestures i could use to better make my points in conversation! looking smarter! and older! i could use that last one because just this weekend a waitress thought i had just graduated from college -- at least i'm not getting carded anymore.

last month rogray and i were in atlanta visiting momgo & dadgo, celebrating passover, and planning the wedding. . .yay! we all had some time to kill so we popped into a cookware shop for funzies.

momgo immediately set about buying everything she could get her hands on and i looked at the knives. dadgo and rogray looked at other bits and pieces of cooking gadgets and discovered some onion glasses. rogray decided that we should get them because whenever i cut an onion i have to leave the kitchen at least 10 times because my eyes are gushing rivers.

at first i was all "another gadget that is creating a market where there wasn't one before" but that quickly turned into "a surprise present? i'll take it!! and glasses no less!"

last night we took them for a test run.

here i am ready to start the experiment:

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aaaaaand action!:

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well? well? WELLLLLLLL?

did it work? could i cut half an onion without turning into a blubbering mess? did these magic glasses somehow make me a mean chopping machine?

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YESSSSSS! see? i do need glasses.

4 comments:

rogray said...

and they look awesome too!

Momgo said...

Come on - she looks like Rocky, or Bullwinkle, or whoever that cartoon aviator was. Two corrections to your post.

I did NOT start shopping for everything I could get my hands on. Two, I was the one who spotted the glasses (perhaps rendering my first correction somewhat disingenuous).

The Floor said...

you look like Morpehus, a little.

jk said...

absolutely moronic.