Walk This Way

rogray and i leave our apartment around 8am to get to work on time. there is a man who lives on our floor who leaves at the same time. and he is my new obsession.

he looks kind of like a less attractive version of this guy:



side note: that guy is paul giamatti's older brother, marcus, who is an actor (whaddup judging amy!) and session musician. who knew?

anyway, the walking man in question looks like an older, schlubbier marcus giamatti and he walks unlike any person i have seen before.

he always wears a plaid button down shirt, some kind of pant, and, i think i'm right about this, a member's only jacket -- or a windbreaker -- and carries the same briefcase with him. his clothing does not make him a man worth being fascinated by though. it's the walk.

he, like us, takes the stairs instead of the elevator. we have a very loud stairwell so most people sound kind of like an elephant coming down the stairs but when he comes down the stairs it's not one elephant but rather a herd of elephants mixed with a pack of ravenous hyenas with a bull thrown in for good measure -- and then he swings open the doors with such vigor you think that he might shove them off of their hinges. and finally the walk to the train.

oh! the walk to the train!!!

his stride is twice the length of his body and his right arm (because i swear to you he only carries his suitcase in his left hand) swings so violently and extremely that i bet parents have to shield their children from it lest he inadvertently punch in the face.

i use to think he must walk like this because it's the morning and maybe he's perpetually late but then i saw him on the walk home from the train but unless he always has a pot of water on the stove or forgets to extinguish the candles on his altar, this is how he always walks.

rogray has become obsessed with him as well and whenever we see him we like to imagine different things about him -- like how crazy it must be to watch him walk around the office -- or if that is how he walks to the bathroom in the middle of the night -- or if he is an accountant -- or if he has dead bodies in his freezer.

the other morning rogray had the pleasure of holding the door open for him and he spent the whole time wondering if he was going to get a thank you -- and mr. walk did thank him but it was quick, mumbled and perfunctory.

i love this guy!

Goin' to the Chapel: Segway Edition: Part 2

so now these two are married which means one thing: PARTY!!!

at first, things were very subdued -- lovely speeches were given which made the very new newlyweds smile:



including a very touching, funny and sweet toast by le bff:



she was trying to tally up just how many women tom waits dated before the prom queen.

this made the happy couple laugh -- tom waits because he was nervous and prom queen because it was funny:



but once the sun set things got funky:



real funky:



we all ate some food -- including the bride:



here we are together -- if she wasn't married i swear we would ride off into the sunset together -- damn you mr. waits!!!!!



god we are so cute!

it came time for them to cut the cake but they didn't know how so cater waiter had to give them a lesson but apparently it was very confusing:



here's the whole she-bang of cake cutting:



once the cake was cut things got crazy. let's look to rogray for an example shall we?



the prom queen even got impatient and was all "hello, we're married now can we please seal the deal??"



after the guy in between them was like "dude, this lady needs some love" tom waits relented and they suited up for their getaway:




but why are they wearing helmets?

because they rode off into their newlywed bliss on segways!!





amazing!!

after they left i tried to do a series of night shots but spike decided it was going to be his mission to scowl at me in every one:





he did pretty well. also, he may or may not have gotten a little something something with that lovely lady in the first photo. . .

the prom queen returned from her bridal getaway a new woman and invited us all to the hotel bar for some after-party fun:



how could you turn that down?

so we went and guess what was happening at the hotel bar called "the pub" besides 3 other wedding after-parties with some of the most southern, ridiculous people i've ever seen in my life? KARAOKE!!!!

rogray took a moment to think about what he wanted to sing:



he settled on Knockin' on Heaven's Door and he nailed it!



i followed up with Sweet Child o' Mine as a dedication to all the newlyweds there but really only to the prom queen and tom waits. i think i killed it:





um, could my head banging air guitar be any more dynamic? no!

after i threw my back out doing this:



(notice the rock fingers on the lower left of the frame? nice catch rogray!) we had to go home and sleep -- well some of us slept -- spike may or may not have been up all night with a certain unnamed lady in a certain photograph doing certain things that i will not say on this blog.

the next morning we all awoke to sunlight and empty tummies. we needed some brunch at the flying biscuit. except Mr. T -- he was still sick -- he missed the whole party! -- so we left his sorry ass in bed and went to wait in line:



we waited:



and we waited:



and then things got desperate:



but then we were at our table!



and we had food! glorious food like biscuits & gravy! and grits!



and biscuits!



and, oh my god, ricotta pancakes that i still dream about at night (we split them -- we're not gluttons, sheesh.)



and we were so full that we went back to my parents' house and took naps and slept off the food coma and rogray and i made our way back to the airport feeling full, sleepy and blissfully happy for the prom queen and tom waits because they are the loveliest of couples and will have the happiest of marriages.

(there are so many pictures of the weekend that i didn't post here so if you want to see the whole damn set go here.)

Goin' to the Chapel: Segway Edition

last weekend rogray and i headed down to the ATL in the dirrrrty south for a wedding. the great thing about this wedding (besides wedding being generally awesome) is that many of the guests were my high school people so it was like a reunion but without the dejected former star quarterback and the drug addled cheerleader.

who's wedding? why the prom queen's and tom waits! ok, he's not really tom waits but if you heard him sing you would be all "whoah, he sounds a lot like tom waits."



that's them -- the prom queen is asking him if her really thinks it's funny to joke about bailing on the wedding. you can tell that she's giving him the answer with her eyes.

rogray and i were all sorts of delayed thanks so we rolled up to the rehearsal dinner late with our driver Mr. T & spike:



i don't what rogray is doing in that picture but let's just assume he is enthusiastically thanking them for picking us up at the airport.

after we finished dinner all the young folk headed over to the environmentalists' home which is one of the most amazing places i have ever been. here's the house:



gorgeous right? oh, what's with the eggs you ask? they are from the chickens they keep in their backyard!!



now, you may be wondering why there are no people in the house when i was taking my architectural digest photos. that's because nobody was hanging out in the house. that would be for losers! instead everyone was hanging out here:



but, what is that?

oh, that? that's would be tree houses people!! TREE HOUSES!!!!!!!! it's like the ewok village in their backyard but without the furry midgets. in all my life i have never seen anything like it:

a tree house bedroom? check!


a tree house office? check!


some rope bridges connecting all the tree houses above the woody backyard? check!


a doggy tree house? check check!


rogray decided to forgo the socializing and situate himself in the tree house hammock on the tree house patio:


i bet you people haven't ever seen anything like this either.

le bff, Mr. T, rogray and i were very sleepy so we went home to rest up for the big day. it turns out the big day started out with some of my favorite munchkins in the whole wide world: my godsons!!!!!!! i don't even need to caption this -- just look at the cuteness:




look at this hair!





what are they watching?



pretty in pink!! they are so cool!!

rogray and the d-man promptly made up a game as they often do when they are together which involved them popping up form this chair and screaming things like "octopus party jelly pants!" come to think of it everything they thought of sounded like something that would go on a japanese t-shirt with english on it.

after we said goodbye to the munchkins and got gussied up we made our way to the prom queen's parent's house for the main event. let's take a look at the pre-game:



oh god, that's barely the tip of the picture iceberg. . .let's take a look at the lovely prom queen pre-marriage, shall we?



um, bitch is gorgeous!!!! what i want to know is, what's she whispering to the environmentalist?



meanwhile, rogray ate:



because that's how classy he is.

le bff has something very exciting to tell spike:



spike wants to tell Mr. T but Mr. T was too sick to care:



grandpa prom queen was wondering who i was and why i was there:



the wedding began and le bff and her bro thay-bob were in tom waits party and let's take a quick moment to see how much prettier le bff is than the rest of the groom's group:



now, that's pretty.

here's the beautiful couple right after they kissed:



gorgeous -- best picture ever! i have a real talent.

next up -- the party!