Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Walk This Way

rogray and i leave our apartment around 8am to get to work on time. there is a man who lives on our floor who leaves at the same time. and he is my new obsession.

he looks kind of like a less attractive version of this guy:

side note: that guy is paul giamatti's older brother, marcus, who is an actor (whaddup judging amy!) and session musician. who knew?

anyway, the walking man in question looks like an older, schlubbier marcus giamatti and he walks unlike any person i have seen before.

he always wears a plaid button down shirt, some kind of pant, and, i think i'm right about this, a member's only jacket -- or a windbreaker -- and carries the same briefcase with him. his clothing does not make him a man worth being fascinated by though. it's the walk.

he, like us, takes the stairs instead of the elevator. we have a very loud stairwell so most people sound kind of like an elephant coming down the stairs but when he comes down the stairs it's not one elephant but rather a herd of elephants mixed with a pack of ravenous hyenas with a bull thrown in for good measure -- and then he swings open the doors with such vigor you think that he might shove them off of their hinges. and finally the walk to the train.

oh! the walk to the train!!!

his stride is twice the length of his body and his right arm (because i swear to you he only carries his suitcase in his left hand) swings so violently and extremely that i bet parents have to shield their children from it lest he inadvertently punch in the face.

i use to think he must walk like this because it's the morning and maybe he's perpetually late but then i saw him on the walk home from the train but unless he always has a pot of water on the stove or forgets to extinguish the candles on his altar, this is how he always walks.

rogray has become obsessed with him as well and whenever we see him we like to imagine different things about him -- like how crazy it must be to watch him walk around the office -- or if that is how he walks to the bathroom in the middle of the night -- or if he is an accountant -- or if he has dead bodies in his freezer.

the other morning rogray had the pleasure of holding the door open for him and he spent the whole time wondering if he was going to get a thank you -- and mr. walk did thank him but it was quick, mumbled and perfunctory.

i love this guy!

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