Monday, November 06, 2006

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. . .

i may or may not be temping at a major company whose sole responsibility is to sell lingerie to women along with some really slutty clothes they sell only in the back of their catalogues (i mean, seriously, what's with those clothes?). this company may or may not have launched the careers of many super-successful super-models, two of which have their own tv shows. and i may or may not be violating some piece of paper i signed at my temp agency about confidentiality but what i'm about to say is, in no way, surprising, revelatory, or secretive (hint hint).

what i am about to do though is tell you about the un-photoshopped image that is to go in an upcoming catalogue that is meant to bludgeon you blind with boobs or make you wonder why your boyfriend refers to it as his free playboy subscription when it's clearly not a playboy -- it's not like they are objectifying women and paying said women millions of dollars to pose in suggestive poses in the nude or practically so -- oh, wait, yes they are. . .yes, it IS his free playboy subscription. i get it now.

anyway, in the photos i saw all the models wear skin-colored g-strings under all the underwear and they photoshop the visible parts out. one model clearly doesn't keep up with shaving her armpits. all the bras are too small for the models which is how their boobies are practically on their eye-level -- but since they are so small the straps and bands twist and dig into the skin creating the appearance of back fat. all of this along with various tattoos, skin blemishes and so on get photoshopped out -- and then muscle and bone definition get added in.

am i surprised? no. did i know this was happening? of course -- but there is something about knowing it and seeing it that makes it different. and after seeing these images i felt somewhat empowered because all of the times where there have been pictures of me where i thought i looked really good were not aided by a computer program. just by me being adorable.

and as an added observation about the glory of photoshop i saw this image on the subway today. now, bo derek is 50 and morgan fairchild is 56. and i applaud them for still working -- and obviously they have enjoyed some nipping, tucking, and the injection of clostridium botulinum aka botox aka minute doses of one of the most highly toxic bacteria on the planet (but i'm sure that there won't be any long-term damaging side-effects, i mean the doses are so small. . .so small they're cute!) but i don't care if your face has been pulled, scrubbed, lasered, exfoliated, injected, peeled, and then massaged with the lining of a goat's bladder -- you are still going to have wrinkles at the age of 56 or 50. . .check out this lady. Ms. Deneuve ages like she means it -- maybe because she's french, maybe because she's a better actress. . .but whatever -- if that's what 63 looks like -- sign me up!

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